Pulling my hair out
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Pulling my hair out
| Tue, 09-06-2005 - 7:11pm |
I've been dating this great guy for almost a year now...here's the catch. I'm still going through a divorce. It has been well over a year and everytime it seems like it is almost done my ex finds some way to drag it out. This is so frusterating for us...we can't move to the next step (moving in)...and we are both ready. I don't know how to get my ex to let this go (aside of giving him custody of the kids...according to him that is why he won't settle). Any thoughts on keeping my sanity or helping to move my divorce along?

I'm sure this depends on which state you're in, but here in WA, when you file, you are given a trial date, and if you haven't settled by then, you go to trial. Do you have a trial date? If not, I'd get your attorney to set one ASAP so that you at least have an end date.
Sheri
Wow--that's quite a push back! Sorry to hear that...
Have you tried mediation? Is your STBX willing to give that a try?
Sheri
You've been given some great advice, however, it's only applicable if your ex is a reasonable person. You imply that he does what ever he can to foil the divorce settlement, so I'd be guessing that he's a complete nutter.
Sadly, two of my good friends are trying to settle finances/custody with their exes and it's been going on for YEARS. Each time the court date comes, the guy fakes illness.... or doesn't show up....or asks for an extension because he's not had enough time(!). In one of the divorces, there have even been AVOs.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I am saying that mediation is a waste of time if he's an out and out nutter. And if you put your life on hold waiting for him to come good, you'll loose a lot of good years.
You may need to accept that this could be a long drawn out process and make whatever arrangements you need to make your life as happy at possible. This may mean that you should simply move in with your new guy even though the divorce isn't complete.