letting go when you're still in love?
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letting go when you're still in love?
| Tue, 01-10-2006 - 1:11pm |
My boyfriend and I have only been together for 8 1/2 months- but in those months we've come to love and care for each other immensely. We've had our rough spots, as every couple does, especially when he was away (too far to drive or see each other more than once a month) on business for three months. However, he's finally returned from his trip and things have been great since he's been back. The only thing is this- I just graduated college and will remain in the same area as him until May, when I'll move about an hour away for the summer. Come fall, I'll be going to law school either 2.5 hrs or 4 hrs away driving. Because he knows I'll be leaving, my boyfriend wants to break up now. He still loves me, tells me constantly, treats me so well and I still love him but he feels that there's a strong chance we'll break up in the fall and so he wants to end it now to minimize the pain later. I admit that his opinion is pragmatic and possibly the best thing to do, but I'm too much of a romantic to accept it. I don't know what will happen in the fall- 4 hrs away isn't so horrible that we couldn't see each other often enough, as he fully admits- but even if I go away and things end up falling apart, I will always regret not having these next 8-10 months with someone I love and care for so much. After staying up all night talking last night, we agreed to give it a week before discussing it more. I guess my question is- do I fight for this relationship as hard as I can or is he right, am I just being selfish by resisting ending it now?

annie088...
PG might be completely 'off-base'----but it sounds like your b/f wants to break things off with you NOW....in order to begin a different relationship with someone else?
Granted...you'd like to maintain the status quo for another 8 months, but eventually...the two of you will go through some sort of a separation.
So if a split is the inevitable ending to the 'life novel' the 2 of you have experienced together, your b/f wants END THINGS NOW!
Pianoguy
Giving yourselves time to digest all of this was a great move. Set aside some time and have a long discussion about it. Be open minded when you do and you may "hear" what he is telling you. Then the decision may be an easy one.
You two have lots of options besides "it's over".