When to Call

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
When to Call
2
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 5:45pm
I've been seeing someone for about three weeks now. I think we're in the whom should call whom stage. He called me last night after a short conversation I told him I would talk to him later. I had been the one to call the last couple of time prior to last night. Should I wait for him to call me? If I should call, how long should I wait? Tonight? Tomorrow? Oh how I hate dating!!


Edited 1/18/2006 10:21 am ET by tdothdot
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
In reply to: tdothdot
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 7:31pm

It's no wonder women are so CONFUSED, we make it so much harder than it really NEEDS to be. (and, I am woman, I just often 'don't get' why women get so hung up on the rules, stages, labels, etc).

He called you last night, you said talk to you later. I'm guessing that he didn't say "I'll call you" or anything like that ... rather, you guys left it open. If he DID say "I'll call you" ... by all means, let him call. Given that he called you last night ... I think that you should make the next call. I'm a big fan of reciprocity. You call me, I call you. See, it's quite easy. :)

As for when to call, that's your call. Only you know, at this point, if you believe that he wants to hear from you everyday ... if you're not sure, then don't call today. You can usually get a "vibe" off a guy in regard to whether or not he's genuinely glad to hear from you ... or if he's sounding busy, etc ... in which case, he's probably "bothered" that you called again so soon.

I'm also a big fan of letting things breathe. Is there a specific reason or purpose to call him today/tonight ... or do you want to just say "hi, happy Friday the 13th!" ... early on (and 3 wks is still early), I don't think that talking every day is all that necessary. I mean, where's the anticipation? You Don't want to come across as clingy.

Since you talked yesterday, if I were you ... I'd wait until Sunday or so to call. Then, you could call and say "how was your weekend?" ... plus, if he wants to do something with you this weekend, and he makes the next call to see you, then ... you'll have a better idea of his motivation. But, if you call today, you're closing a door on an opportunity for him to call you and ask you out for the weekend.

Hope that helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
In reply to: tdothdot
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 10:44pm

I think you need to breathe and take a day or two before calling him, especially if you want to have this kind of talk. I suppose it's fine to call whenever you feel like it, but I wouldn't insist on having a "define the relationship" conversation until you can sit down with him in person.

Just try to take it easy. Enjoy the fact that you've met someone you're smitten with. Wait until it feels right to have the talk. But also be prepared for his reaction. To him, it might be too soon, and he may react negatively.