After 8 years of dating...its over??
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After 8 years of dating...its over??
| Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:47pm |
Hello...I'm new to this message board but not to ivillage. I have posted things before about my mom who passed away Feb 14,2005. Well anyway here goes. My boyfriend and I started dating in high school when we were both 17. This was my first really serious relationship. And his too. We spent all of our time together. Then when I graduated, I moved out of my parents home. About a year later, he moved in. We had a great time. Doing a lot of things together and enjoying each other. Then on New Years Eve this year we started talking about out sex life. It was not there. We have not had sex in sometime and he always said it was because I had just lost my mom and thought that it would be hard for even though we could have sex when we were drunk. So he told that he thought he was just with me out of comfort. That we had gotten way too comfortable with each other. We talked about some more and decided to go to counsiling. Im in counsiling due to my mom. And we went and I thought we had a good talk and both us decided to work on the things that was brought up. Well then about a week ago, we were talking again about something that was bothering us and he said he thought that it would be a good idea if he moved out for awhile. Well now we are going thru the process of separating things (cell phone bill, car payment for example) he moved in with his brother. He told me for two years he felt trapped but was too scared to say anything. I miss him so much and we still get along really well. We are now able to talk about with out the other get defensive or fighting. I lost my two best friends within a year. First my mom and now him. Im so sad and scared. I feel lost and alone. I dont really have any family except for a brother and he is getting married and having a baby. I just want him to call so we can talk. I told him that I want to work on this. But he doesnt know what he wants yet. Any advice??
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| Tue, 01-17-2006 - 10:51pm |
I also forgot to add that we did talk about marriage and kids. The whole ten yards.
| Wed, 01-18-2006 - 11:00am |
I personally would say give him time. My BF and I have been together 7 years. About 4 months ago he said he felt he didnt love me like he used to. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no. He said he wanted to work things out but ended up moving out 2 weeks later. We broke up and within a few weeks he was missing me very badly. I think that over a period of years we start to take for granted our love for each other and with some time apart we realize that we really do love the other person. I also was questioning my love for him at that time but was really hurt when he left. I know it is very hard but once he sees that you have moved on if he really loves you he will be back but I think it takes him feeling threatened to come back. When we were broke up he was dating someone else. Oh course I did not feel like I could even think of dating but lead him to beleive I was. I think that was our turning point. Once he thought I was dating he ran back crying. I told him if he wanted to be with me that he had to make a commitment to our relationship. 2 weeks ago he asked me to marry him and we are now engaged. I wish you the best
