Can I like this guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Can I like this guy?
3
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 1:15pm

Two years ago I hung out with a guy but I broke up with him and I forgot why I did that.

He was nothing but nice to me and always tries to make sure I'm having fun. One time he bought me things I read to him from my grocery list, does things I like or surprises me with things he thinks I'll like. So I decided to hang out with him again. When I left Thursday on a short trip he came over with food to help me pack, and even got me a camera. When I think about him, he's a good looking guy with ambitions, and is very good to me. Always makes sure I am the one having more fun and really likes me. Never has a bad word to say about me, is intelligent, articulate, conversational.

Problem is, in person, his mannerisms annoy me. He's too "theatrical" and his sense of humor isn't funny to me. I don't like his smile, the way he talks, or the way he sort of shakes his head when he says something, or the way he pauses in sentences. It is all a big turn-off. He's not aware of these actions.

It's too bad I'm just not attracted to him because otherwise he's perfect. What do you think? I am trying to like him but I don't know if I can do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 1:52pm
I struggle with this a lot too. You find a guy that you know you SHOULD like, you just don't. Don't force it. You can't. And if you try to, it will only make it harder in the end. Believe me, I know from experience. The reason you broke up with him the first time is probably because you just couldn't become attracted to him. Yes, it is VERY important to find someone that you can have a good conversation with, who treats you well, who can become your best friend. However, the other half is attraction. If you aren't attracted to him now, it will never work in the long run. Keep looking. The sweet guy that still puts butterflies in your stomach is out there. It just isn't this guy. Good luck! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 3:28pm
Thanks....... I'm glad I'm not the only one!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 3:56pm
What do I think? I think you need to look elsewhere for a BF. This one might be all of the nice things you said about him, but there's a laundry list of bad things you say about him too. The two lists don't equal out, and really they shouldn't *equal* out, you shouldn't have a possitive for every negative, you should be in possitive overload. You're not. And it sounds like the negatives are all character related. They're all the essence that help make him who he is. You don't like who he is past the fundementals of good and descent.