I am in trouble!
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I am in trouble!
| Wed, 01-25-2006 - 3:32am |
I have a friend who recently decided with me to have a friends-with-benefits sort of arrangement. We are both single. I liked him a long time ago and we were together for a short amount of time and after that didn't speak much, but a couple months ago became friends again. He told me from the beginning he wasn't interested in relationships. Well recently things have gotten heated between the two of us and we have tried being intimate, but he gets very nervous, shakes like a leaf, and has trouble lasting long. It makes me wonder if he does like me. After the second mishap I finally said I think he likes me whether he wants to admit it even to himself, but he insisted he only likes me as a friend. I am pretty confused. I do like him and think we would have a great relationship, but right now I would simply be happy just knowing what is going on.

peeves...
Here's a very easy to understand answer from Pianoguy:
The man you're with wants absolutely NOTHING to do with you when it involves any sort of a commitment! You...on the other hand...would like to go beyond the FWB arrangement the 2 of you originally agreed to.
Assuming the man whom you're seeing will never change his mind, this leaves you with 2 choices:
1. Accept the terms the way they are with NO EXPECTATIONS for anything more.
OR
2. End the relationship and pursue someone who has desires that are similar to yours.
Pianoguy
"I would simply be happy just knowing what is going on."
What is going on is you're allowing your hopes and desperation for something real with this guy to fool you into denial induced confussion.
"He told me from the beginning he wasn't interested in relationships...he insisted he only likes me as a friend."
You're completely ignoring what he says outside of the heat of the instant sexual gratification moment. He is not interested in having a relationship with you. He is interested in sex though, and using you for his sexual pleasure because you're willing to. You are in trouble, because you're tricking yourself into believing it's something more than it actually is--meaningless sex.
Do yourself a favor and listen to pianoguy and anyone else that tells you to walk away. I have put myself in the same type of arrangement, feelings started to follow, his feelings for me were not the same as I felt for him, and now Im here trying to dig my way out of this thing!!! Its difficult, Im emotional, I cry everyday, because I know its over and it has to be over, because its not what I want in my life.
His erection problem, could be a form of guilt coming out, because he knows you want something he isnt going to give you. And if he has a heart, he knows hes going to hurt you and he doesnt want to do that.