stay or go?
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| Sun, 01-29-2006 - 2:42pm |
i've been in relationship with a younger man (10 years younger) for 2 1/2 years. i'm 44. he's a great guy in many ways and we have a lot in common. he tells me he loves me and we have great sex. however we only see each other usually twice a week. he has work commitments, lives at home with his widowed mother and doesn't have a car. we never used to fight but lately i find my patience is wearing thin and i've been very upset with him. he says i'm overreacting, sends me roses but then told me he was going away to a stag with his buddies for the weekend. i told him it was bad timing that i was still upset and if he went we'd be finished. he thought about it and said that he wouldn't go but questioned me as to whether this would be the start of me telling him not to go out with his friends. i've never done this in the past but this time was the last straw. a couple of his friends said i'm too good for him. am i crazy to stay?

At first glance, my thought is that you're over reacting too. Staying upset till the weekend and telling him not to go on the stag weekend is pretty drastic stuff.
However, perhaps you're not over reacting.....what are you impatient about with him? What are you fighting over? What is so terrible that you would hold a grudge and ask him stay home on the weekend?
My first reaction to is that you are over reacting but I have to be honest and tell you Im quite the overreator myself!!! LOL I basically think thats theres nothing wrong with a guy that spends 2 nights a week with you. At this point in life, you both have your own committments and responsibilites to deal with. The guy Im dating for the past 6 months and I are lucky to have 2 nights that we dont have our kids, or he isnt on night work that week. I myself have thought of walking away for various reasons lately, as many on the board know, but I decided to sit back and let it take its own pace and see where I end up.
You dont mention children for either of you, so Im curious if there are any involved? I also think there maybe some resentment on your part towards his mother, and her needs that he has to fulfill. That can be tough, but its his mom and he loves her too.
Maybe if you two sit down and talk you can find a way to make things work out better as far as timing goes, and both be willing to bend a little. Demanding that he not go with his friends, has now only made things worse in the relationship. So take a deep breath, talk with him, and find a way to make it work if its what you both want.
I dont know if the age thing is a factor or not. Im your age and before my current guy I met a man who was 11 years younger than me. He was more mature, wiser, open to his feelng than most men Ive ever known. Is this how your guy is? Just for the record that guy didnt work for me because the attraction wasnt there, and my heart was still stuck on my ex husband.
Good luck, and talk!! I think talk is what keeps things going and makes a relationship what it is.
Your patience with him is wearing thin.