Dating and learning to enjoy it!!
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| Fri, 02-03-2006 - 9:14am |
NEWS FLASH !!!! UPDATE ON ME!!!
I just wanted to share this with all of you wonderful people that were there for me this past month, through all the bad times!! Thanks!
My guy and I had a great evening last night of just laying together, sipping wine and talking about life and our feelings. We left the sex out of it for night. We found out how much we just love being together, sharing laughs, thoughts, and dreams. It was a turning point for us. We agreed to keep seeing each other, and only each other and see where life takes us. Hes basically the " dont want marry again" kind, me I dont think Ive been out of marriage (18 months) to know just yet. So Im gonna enjoy the "dating" and the time we have. I may get my heart broke someday, and I may have to walk away someday, but life is a risk. If you never take a chance, thats not living.
Oh and by the way, we called off the break and space thing!! And he told me that he loved me too! He even apologized for handling my announcement of my feelings to him, so badly a few weeks ago. He said love just scares him, and he never wanted to feel this way. But it just happened with me, and he wasnt sure what to do with it.
You see, he told me, he knew the day he married his ex wife, that he shouldnt have gone through with it. That it wasnt the right kind of love for someone whos your wife. And that he made a mess of her life and his, in the end. So I think he just needs time. He even said that he thinks that in the next month or so, we need to work on getting to know the others children.
BIG STEP!! But I think I can do that in little baby steps!

I'm glad to hear you're happy with how things are going!
But I'm confused about one thing...why would you bring your kids into it if there are no plans for marriage?
Sheri
Let me first clarify that my children vary in age. I have children 21, 17, 13 & 9. His sons are 13 & 17. We also have dated for many months, since June, and we did talk about how we both would feel about living togethter in the future. I myself cant even entertain leaving where I am now, because I want my son to finish up high school in the school he is at. Both sets of children know of our relationship, they just have not been a part of it. As "wingblade" has told a poster on this site earlier today, marriage does not have to happen and two people can still be together. Not everyone needs that legal piece of paper for happiness.
I also stated that we were thinking about the children at a later date. Not now!! Now we are seeing if what we have grown to feel for each other is genuine, and can work.
Trust me, I AM VERY protective of my children meeting any man that may come into my life. The way I see it, they have seen and dealt with enough of that, as their father is on his 3rd live in, in 18 months !! Talk about unfortunate.
Bella,
Do me one favor please dont ever insinuate, that I put my own feelings before those of my children. I have had a rough marrriage of 20 years, that was bad for quite a while. My Children are why I tried everything I could to keep the family together, and I have never put any man in their life in the past 18 months.
I never in my life put my feelings before my children and unfortunately I resent you making a statement like that based on what I wrote.
How many children do you have? And how old are you? Im quite curious.
You said in your previous post that your bf had mentioned involving the kids a month from now...that just didn't seem very long to me, given how uncertain things are with this "new start"...that's the only point I was trying to make.
I'm sure that people can be "happy" together without marriage, I'm just of the view that when children under 21 or so are involved, marriage should be modeled (as opposed to not living together), but I do understand that not everyone agrees with that viewpoint. I'm sure you will do as you think best and it does sound like you are at least considering the effect that involving the kids will have before you do so. I'm sorry to hear that your ex is so cavalier with their feelings.
Sheri
Sheri,
Thank you for your post. And I agree that the children needed to be carefully considered when it comes to living with someone. I would have to be so very sure of myself and him before I made such a move.
Thanks for your support and your thoughts on my exs handling of the children. It is because of the way he has handled his affairs, that I truly beleive Im the one that needs to set the proper example so that they grow into respectful, honest, loving adults.