Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?
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Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?
| Tue, 02-14-2006 - 4:25am |
I have been talking to this guy for about 4 months now...Things have recently started to progress into the possible relationship phase but we are not there yet. I can't really enter that stage until I know that his roommate and him are nothing more than friends. This is where things get complicated. He lives with a girl who he says they are just friends and I have no reason to not believe him. They never dated but were hooking up. He has been very honest with me from the beginning about everything with them. However they share a bed together. At first I really didn't care because we were just talking and getting to know each other. Now its like I don't understand why she can't get her own bed and room. I know that she has feelings for him but he tells me that he doesn't have romantic feelings for her but its kinda hard to believe if you are sharing a bed with her. I understand that financially things are rough but I don't want to be strung along. He's a great guy and this is an extremly confusing situation that I myself don't even understand. Should I believe him in saying that there's nothing more to them or am I just being dumb?

" Should I believe him in saying that there's nothing more to them or am I just being dumb?"
First off you're not dumb, dont let anyone ever make you feel badly about you. Secondly I think you do need to think long and hard about this. My first response as I read your post was.... theres always a sofa to sleep on. Even if nothing was happening, I would be uncomfortable with this sleeping arrangement.
But in response to can a man and a woman be just friends, yes they can! Im to be divorced any time now, after 21 years of marriage. The first man I dated after my seperation, his name is Dave, has become one of the best friends Ive had in my life. We met online, we chatted constantly, we made phone calls, then we went out to dinner one night. Well things got heated and we both realized that neither of us was ready for that. We were both still mending our hearts from our broken marriages.
We went on to still email, chat, talk and for the last 18 months of my life, he has become a wonderful friend to me, and me to him. Hes there when I need someone, hes the first place I go when things get me down. We know now that we'll never have a romantic relationship, we missed that chance. BUT there isnt anything I cant tell him and he cant tell me. As a matter of fact he knows more than my girlfriends do!!
If you chose to date this guy, you need to be honest with him about how you feel about his roommate, and their sleeping arrangement. If he's being honest, and is really into you he will make a change.
Good luck!
Men and women can not be friends... especially in that situation, one may really like the other and one may not even have a clue. Men are normally the ones that dont have a clue. I would take yourself out of the situation since you are already seeing problems/issues. The earlier you do that the easier it will be on you. You really dont want to be in a situation where your with this guy months down the road, and this chick is still around...and you sit around still wondering.
I know that my ex has this female friend, and they have known each other for a long time. She was always calling him, text messaging him, etc. He would make the excuse of she's just a friend, and she doesn't have very many friends, etc. I told him after I broke up with him that she's either in love with you, or really has a bad crush on you. And he really couldnt see it...but that's ok... I'm not with him anymore so I dont worry about it. This chick was a sore subject for many months, and he did nothing to fix it cause he didnt see the problem. But my gut told me that it was mainly her... and not my ex that was the issue. Even his friends saw the same thing. But I know that I will never allow that crap to happen again with the next guy. Maybe someday down the road my ex will figure it all out and understand.
So make it a point to yourself by not allowing things like that to be in your life. You'll be better off not being with someone with that kind of baggage hanging around.
Yes, men and women can be strictly platonic friends...but I would NOT be comfortable with that situation AT ALL!!!
It's just too intimate (and I don't mean that in the sexual sense) for him to be sleeping with this woman. I would not be comfortable being in a relationship with a man who had that type of intimacy with another woman, platonic or not.
Sheri