New Relationship & V-Day??
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| Tue, 02-14-2006 - 5:59pm |
Happy Valentines Day Girls!
Question..I've been dating a man since New Years, things seem to be going well, I'm happy & we've just became intimate with eachother...which was also good too! I think he's happy with me!? Well, it's the dreaded "V-Day" and well, my first Valentines Day that I've had a Sweetie in awhile! We've both been divorced for a few years...him 41, Me-32. I was kinda in that excitement mode thinking...I wonder if he will send me flowers or something? I know it's all COMMERCIALIZED & " material things" don't matter but....I guess I was kinda hoping that he would want to surprise me with something...being that he is also out of town on business & wouldn't be able to see me or take me out tonight either? Well, it's 5:40...No surprises for me yet :(...but he did send me a message to my phone saying "Happy Valentines Day!"...I wonder if maybe he thinks it's too soon for V-Day stuff?? Then again...If it isn't too soon for us to sleep together....how can it be tooo soon for a holiday for Sweethearts?? I picked up a few little things for him to give when he gets home...Cute stuff.. I've always been "A Giver" & enjoy being that, never been the "taker" type BUT when I think of this today...this "Holiday"..I think, Hell, I'm still just a GIRL on Valentines Day...who everyone knows is in this "New" Relationship with the New Beau..it's almost depressing when I was asked if he did anything special or sent anything...and I say "No"? Hmmm....what should I think girls? It's not about the "GIFT" it's just knowing that he wanted to do it, remembered me or just to know he wanted to surprise me or something? Should I feel confused or anything about why he wouldn't do anything? I mean if this is the way a "Budding Romance" starts with him....what happens when time goes on & it gets older between us & more comfy? Where's the romantic guy inside him to make his girl smile from being surprised on V-Day? I feel horrible sounding like this ...I guess I was just kinda excited & I wonder now what he's thinking as the man on the other end? Let's see if he mentions anything later? He said he will definitly call me tonight though he is away on business..I'll tell ya one thing....if he doesn't ...that will ruin it for me! Maybe I'm being nervous on the "does he really like me" thing or venting a little bit?? Ugh..Dating!
Thanks in advance....Sweetie

I wonder if maybe he thinks it's too soon for V-Day stuff?? Then again...If it isn't too soon for us to sleep together....how can it be tooo soon for a holiday for Sweethearts??
It's never to soon be physically gratified - but the desire and willingness to involve in sex isn't the desire for commtiment or to become in any way liable for your well-being or best interests or future at all. he might consider you his "sweetheart" - he also is 42 and might consider you his lover. As in this about fun, sex, dating, companionship in the moments we spend together and we're both mature, responsible adults and know that we're responsible for our own identities, successes, security, and futures...so need to get caught up in semantics, or societal expectations.
It's not about the "GIFT" it's just knowing that he wanted to do it, remembered me or just to know he wanted to surprise me or something? Should I feel confused or anything about why he wouldn't do anything?
You've known the man 6 weeks.....you're in the high heat of infatuation which is 'your desire for me makes me feel so great about me, I can't get enough of your attention"....you have no idea if he's a romantic man (if he is - he's not "romancing YOU" - he's romantic and he'll be charming, gracious, flirtatious, and apprecative of all women in all regards - not just sexually towards you), or a man of character and integrity, you have no idea if he wanting to share his life - or share moments in his life becuase he has no desire for compromise or partnership per se. So you haev no idea if valentines day has any significance to him...it's very possible birthdays and anniversaries have none either.........and so projecting into this in light of the unknown facts is ridiculous. You just want something to tell your workmates or buddies about being "special"...so find an adult creative answer to the inquiries only gossipy and shallow minds delve into....such as "you're not old enough to know the answer to that question".
Where's the romantic guy inside him to make his girl smile from being surprised on V-Day?
Again, you don't know the man well enough to know if that is within in by personal preference and requirement.
But here's what you can know.....how he pursued you - it's how he pursued everybody. The depth to which he got to know you before becoming physically intimate - that's how he's been with everybody and it indicates the "value and importance" of sex as an activity to him in terms of "what it means". Everything he's done with you - he's done with any willing, attractive woman that he's met in his past and known for 6 weeks.
So based on how he's conducted himself so far......as he been a planner, a preparer, has he been pursuant and attentive........or were you so delighted at being found deilghtful and desirable that you fell into his arms, his bed, and began to make arrangements ot intertwine in his life..........so you can "get to him know him after the fact" - which is the totally wrong way to be dated, romanced, pursued or appreciated at all.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Sweetie, he may simply not be into Valentines day. He wouldn't be the first person to think that it's just a load of commercialised rubbish.
You are wanting to know "that he wanted to do it, remembered me or just to know he wanted to surprise me or something" The thing with Valentines day is many people do stuff because they feel obliged to do so - not because they actually want to do it. And if he did do something, it certainly won't be a surprise because the whole thing is contrived and expected anyway.
Here's the thing. My partner and I don't do Valentines day. I hate to feel that someone is doing something nice for me because they feel obliged to do so. We think that it's far sweeter to do something nice on the spur of the moment.
Look at the nice things he does for you on a day to day basis. When he makes you a coffee when you're tired. Ordering your favourite pizza topping or getting a DVD that he knows you'll like. Bringing home a bottle of wine 'just because'. Giving you a kiss and a cuddle with no ulterior motives. There are many ways to show love without buying into the whole Valentines thing.
iv_aisha2004,
That was a great post to sweetie!! Very encouraging words that Im sure had to have helped her, and I just wanted to let you know they certainly hit a spot with me. So I thank you for reminding me of something so very important, and making me smile!
Ive never been much for Valentines Day, I guess over the years in my marriage, I always was left feeling that my ex did it because he felt he had too. Some years he did and some years he didnt. So after awhile, the day became a big let down.
This my first VDay with BF, and hes surly not the romantic type!! LOL Thats not to say he's not a wonderful loving and caring person. But I took a minute and reflected back upon the last 9 months since I met him, and remembered all the little things he has done on a whim, to make me feel special. That means more to me than any bouquet of flowers on Vday!!!!!
I always said if you love someone you show them anyday out of the year, not just because someone out in the world decided you should on February 14th!!!
Take care and keep smiling!!
Oh and for the record, I didnt get any surprises on Vday from him, and I wont be seeing him until today, due to his work schedule and his children. But none of that matters, because today I will spent a few fun filled, glorious hours with him!!
I can totally understand why you were disappointed not to have the day acknowledged other than by a text message. Yes, I know it's commercial, forced, all that stuff...but I still like having a bit of a fuss made over me on V-day.
Only time will tell as to whether this means he's not that into you, or not that into V-day, or what.
So, did he call last night?
Sheri
yesterday, was valentines day, I did not go to Hallmark, i did not send or receive flowers or candy.
He called me twice and came to see me at work at lunch.
what does this mean?
Sweetie