NO GIFT
Find a Conversation
NO GIFT
| Wed, 02-15-2006 - 12:25pm |
SO, I didn't receive anything for V-day. My bf of 6 mths said that he thought that I didn't care about it, so he didn't get/do anything for me. He went on to say that he didn't get his mother anything and that he's never celebrated V-day before.
Question - Does no gift mean that he's not that into me?

For him to assume that you didn't care about v-day.... well he's just a selfish little boy who doesn't care. On the other hand, did you mention something to him about v-day???? Sometimes guys are like dogs, they need to be taught. And if they don't listen to you, you need to move on. That's such as BS line saying he doesn't care, and doesn't celebrate it. Even if he doesn't, he should at least be taught to do something... even if it's a card or a rose. Eventually down the road he will get the message, it just may not be with you. If you have a birthday coming up, I would be careful but tell him what you want for your b-day. If he's gonna be half-a$$ed about it, then do you really need him????
I know I wouldn't put up with crap like that. For me this is the first time I've been single in 4 years, my ex sent me an e-mail saying happy v-day, and hoped I had a good night. Granted I didn't say anything back, but I was suprised that he did anything at all, because of the past years that he's been so "CHEAP" on v-day.
As to your question, unless there was some kinda miscommuncation between you too, expect him to be cheap like that. Most men need to be taught, and even if he uses "I don't..", tell them that it's not about him it's about me too and the fact that we like/love each other... so get me at least a card if anything else.
So good luck, and maybe next v-day you'll have someone better, or better yet...you could be single and happy!
I think that you've got your priorities wrong. Valentines day is just one day on the calender. It's a big commercial exercise which is designed to make men feel obliged to do something nice. I don't know about you, but I want a partner to do something nice because they think of it themselves - not because a day on the calender tells them that they must do something.
His everyday actions are far more important. Perhaps he will bring home a bottle of wine for no reason. Or order your favourite pizza topping or get a DVD that you like. Will he make you a coffe when you're tired? Will he listen when you need to vent about a problem at work? Does he make time to see you? Did he put thought into your Xmas gift?
Hon, these everyday things will tell you far more about how he feels for you.
It's not unreasonable to like Valentine's Day, and to want the man in your life to do BOTH: treat you well every day, AND do something special for Valentine's Day. There ARE men out there who get it right on both counts, and I don't think women who want that shouldn't be made to feel bad because that's what they want.
Sheri
Sheri,
I have to say I agree with you, its not unreasonable to want your man to treat you well everyday, and to do something special for you on V Day. I have found myself in the same situation as the poster to this thread.
My reaction actually blind sided me to be honest. Ive always been a giving person and never expected anything in return. But this time it felt different. Maybe I just really needed that from him. Maybe its my own insecurites that caused me to feel badly about the day, so as I have learned from this board, that would be my issue to deal with, not entirely his. LOL
It wasnt a topic we discussed as far as how either of us felt about the day and gifts. We did that at Christmas, and made a decision together to keep it simple and put our efforts and money into making each of ours childrens day special. Maybe before I got him a Vday gift I should have discussed it with him. But Im just the kind that does what I feel.
Its not a deal breaker for me, at this point. You know alot our history over the past 9 months we have known each other. And to be honest, I see a change every week that goes by. Hes more attentive, more receptive, and so much more relaxed about his feelings and mine. I think I may have told you that, he did tell me he hasnt had feelings like this since his divorce of 4 years ago. Its a first for me too!! And I think its something that needs to take its time and grow.
So maybe in time, he will understand that he has a woman who loves romance at his side, even if hes not the most romantic man in the world, and try to meet me halfway. LOL
No, it's not unreasonable to want valentines day, but I do believe that too much importance is placed on this one day of the year. I write what I do to try and place perspective on the issue.
I am reading posters saying nasty things about the O/Ps boyfriend when we know nothing about him. He may well be a very considerate man in other areas of their relationship, but just not be particularly romantic.
You say that women who want Valentines day should not be made to feel bad because they want it. And you are right. But likewise, unromantic men who don't like feeling obliged to be romantic shouldn't be made to feel bad for being true to themselves. If a man is a good man, surely all his other positive attributes should be considered?
Sure there are men out there who are incurably romantic and will do all the gifts for all the occaisions. But the same man could well be lacking in other areas of the relationship. I seriously doubt that anyone can find a man who's 100% perfect in all areas.
Though I will end by saying that if a woman views romance as being an essential part of a relationship, then a lack of Valentines day is a red flag for her.
<>
Totally Agree!