Just a question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Just a question...
2
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 1:21pm
Well my ex and i have been trying to make things work. During this process he was talking to another girl. he was telling me he had no feeling for her and she was rather slutty to be very blunt about it. He was telling me things like you are the only girl for me and i dont think i can live without you. Well i had doubt and guilts and i didn't quite act fast enough. When I finally made my decision he told me no we weren't getting back together. Its rather confusing and i was trying so many ways to better myself during this process so that he could be happier. A few days later he admits he has a new girlfriend which is the girl he was talking to as we were trying to work things out. He also says there is now no chance of us ever getting back together. We were together for over 3 years so it is hard for me to believe he is over me. I think that he needs to experience other women since he really has never been with someone as long as he was with me. I believe that the only reason he is saying there is no hope for us in the future is because he is the one in a relationship now and he knows that i will be there in the end no matter what. My only problem is the women he is currently with has a lot of similarities to me so how is he going to miss me when he has someone who is practically me but without all the problems? I know this probably sounds silly but it is just something that i have been contemplating for the past few days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 02-17-2006 - 2:40pm

He does not miss you and will not miss you because he sees that things can be better without you. Go ahead and move on he has told you that you both will not be together again. Apparently whatever problems you both had were enough for him to not revisit this relationship again. He sees that a relationship can be without what ever problem you both had and wishes to move on.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 10:15am

honeyluv115....

Do you know what the word: TRANSFER means? If not...Pianoguy suggests you grab a dictionary and look it up.

What the EX was doing was 'picking your brain' and 'gaging your mannerisms' in order to transfer past experiences and feelings---to the new g/f who IS EXACTLY LIKE YOU!!!

I think this is the reason I'm a firm believer in the idiom: "Once a spouse or s.o. has become an EX---don't try and rewrite the rules!"

Since there are so many single men and women who HONESTLY WANT A SINCERE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE ELSE...."going backwards" doesn't make a lot of sense....at least, to me!

Pianoguy