Hurt with him or without him??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2006
Hurt with him or without him??
3
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 10:07am

So I decided that I need to walk away from the guy I fell for. Emotionally he is unavailable and being with him was just hurting. So now I ask How do you put this in to play? I want to be able to leave him alone, but when your sitting at home thinking about it how do I resist the urge to pick up the phone and call him?

I know where he will be tomorrow and Thursday night I am so worried I am going to give in and show up. I know for my own sanity I can't put myself through more hurt and meeting him will only hurt me, but I am sitting here hurting anyway. Which is the worse of two evils? I miss what we had.

Any advice would be great. Just trying to keep strong!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 9:43am

I know it is very hard when breaking up with someone. The urge to see them and talk to them is very strong. But, you have to keep in mind why you're not talking to them, why you can’t see them. For those really hard times it is good to go out with family and friends or have them over to keep your mind off of being lonely. I know it is hard and I wish you the best of luck.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:22am
I think you should get busy! Go out with friends, rent some really good movies, read a good book, reactivate a hobby etc...anytime you start thinking about him and get the urge to call him call your best girlfriend instead and chat with her until you feel better becuase you are reminded that you are still loved by people. Want to go where you know he'll be? Call a friend and invite him/her out for dinner, drinks, etc. I completely understand that restless urge, but don't give in..that only shows you as being needy and desperate and that is the last thing you want him to see..and the last thing that will make him see that he is missing out on a really cool girl.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 4:53pm

BIG SIGH.

I TOTALLY know how you're feeling...I've been there a MILLION times and never had the resolve to do what you've decided to do...except ONCE. And it was the best decision I have ever made. I would encourage you to get busy doing other things, but know that there will be that inevitable night where you are just sitting there thinking about him and wanting to be close to him or talk to him.

The only tidbit I can really offer is this....it SUCKS but it really does get easier. And when you are on the other side of that hurtful situation and you can look back...you'll know you made the right choice. Be strong!! You deserve better than someone who causes so much pain. So stick to your guns. I know it feels like hurting with him is better, but in the long run....it can ONLY prolong the hurt. Cut it off now, and don't look back! As harsh as that sounds...you'll never get over him if you give in to your urges.

Good luck!!