Is this fate? Or am I going crazy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Is this fate? Or am I going crazy?
2
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 12:17am

I'm happily married for 3 years. My husband is fantastic, truly supportive, kind and incredibly gorgeous. We met in college many moons ago, dated through our senior year, moved in together a year later and married quite a few years after that. The catch is, there's always a catch, there was a man before my husband (isn't there always?)

This other man and I, we never "dated". We just had this....chemistry. When we showed up at the same party, bar or club we always ended up together. Most of the time without even having to say one word to each other - if he saw me, or I saw him we were like magnets to each other. All we needed was eye contact. Then he'd ask me out, I'd say no, he'd ask why, I'd just shrug, and the cycle continued for years. That is, until I met my husband. When the other man found out I had started dating my future husband he really got upset and just kept saying I was with the wrong guy. And he kept saying that for years.

Needless to say, I've never really forgotten the guy. He's always haunted me, and every so often when I'm alone or upset with my husband I find myself wondering the big "what if". What if I'd gone on just one date with him, what if I'd let him drive me home one last time, what if I'd just given in to one temptation? It's really driven me crazy for the past 7 years.

So time has moved on, and I'm determined to move on and put it all out of my head. My husband and I have just moved to a new city, 8 hours away from our hometown, which is where we also went to college and all of this other guy stuff happened, and I can't help but think finally, a chance for true closure to finally get all the what if's out of my head and truly get on with my life.

So finally, here's the catch....within the first month of living in this new city 8 hours away from my hometown, 8 hours away from all the drama, I was out grocery shopping and who do I bump into for the first time in years but the other guy. We talked for a bit about what each of us are doing in the area, how strange to bump into each other, etc, etc. I mean seriously. Is this some big, fat, cruel coincidence? Should I make anything out of this, or just forget I ever saw him? Really, it's just so strange to me.

(Mind you, I am happily married and would never, ever consider doing anything other than saying hi and having a cup of coffee with the other guy to catch up. And yes, I told my husband right away that I ran into other guy.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 12:24am
That ship has sailed. You're married. Let it go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 1:18pm

I agree, Do not go!!

I took the other path, and it caused my divorce, I gave into the "chemistry" over my sweet husband. (I Didn't marry until I was 30, and had NEVER cheated on a boyfriend). I will have to live w/ that the rest of my life now and the hurt it caused my DH.