Is he just confused?
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Is he just confused?
| Fri, 05-26-2006 - 3:45pm |
I have known this guy since high school. We were the best of friends in high school, and shortly after we lost touch for many years. We got back in touch over a year ago, and in the process developed feelings for each other. He was living in a different state then me, but we began dating anyway. The long distance was never much of a problem. We talked regularly everyday and he came out to visit freqently. We had talked about everything under the sun, and decided that we wanted to get married and spend the rest of our lives together since neither of us thought we could be any happier doing anything but. About 6 months ago he moved back home, only a few miles from me. Things have been a little hectic since we both have very busy schedules. We thought it may be a good idea to take a step back, and postpone the engagement. Our biggest problem since he moved back is having the time to spend together. We have since broke up, but have been maintaining our friendship. I have been married before and have kids, however he had never been in a long term relationship or fallen in love before me, but he was very accepting of my "baggage". He ended the relationship stating that his feelings have changed and he no longer is in love with me or has those same love feelings as one would a significant other. We have not had any problems, with the exception of lack of time to spend to focus on our relationship.
I know that since I have been in love before and with him, that my feeling of love for him and my ex husband has not gone away. My thoughts are that if you truly love someone, especially your first love, it's always there. We have been getting along really great lately, even falling into the friends with benefits catagory, and I feel that it's possible that we could have a relationship again. He is not a guy that only thinks of sex and stuff like that, in fact sex really isn't a big deal to him, really.
My question is...is it possible for someone who has claimed to be undoubtedly in love with someone and completely committed themselves to that person, to "all of a sudden" loose all that in love/love feeling, especially with a first love. Or is it possible he may just be a little scared of the unfamiliar territory of a long term committed relationship? Is it possible for us to have a relationship again with the intent of spending the rest of our lives together, even if it doesn't go into a marriage?
Any suggestions on what I should do?
I know that since I have been in love before and with him, that my feeling of love for him and my ex husband has not gone away. My thoughts are that if you truly love someone, especially your first love, it's always there. We have been getting along really great lately, even falling into the friends with benefits catagory, and I feel that it's possible that we could have a relationship again. He is not a guy that only thinks of sex and stuff like that, in fact sex really isn't a big deal to him, really.
My question is...is it possible for someone who has claimed to be undoubtedly in love with someone and completely committed themselves to that person, to "all of a sudden" loose all that in love/love feeling, especially with a first love. Or is it possible he may just be a little scared of the unfamiliar territory of a long term committed relationship? Is it possible for us to have a relationship again with the intent of spending the rest of our lives together, even if it doesn't go into a marriage?
Any suggestions on what I should do?
Signatures On
| Fri, 05-26-2006 - 4:01pm |
Sometimes with LDR it works well at the time but once that relationship is put closer together the fire seems to fade. I know it happens for me. I am currently in a LDR and am always asked when is one of us going to move. But, I know how I am where the absence does make us grow or atleast me. Where I think your guy was ok at a distance but now daily schedules and things going on he has lost the fire that comes with the anticipation of seeing and missing one another. He sees you as a really good friend but that spark is not there for him to be in love with you.


