Is It Really OK?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Is It Really OK?????
3
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 1:43am

I'm in a relationship that has its ups and downs. However, I love him, but what we've been going thru has definitely taken a toll on me. This is my question though.

When you are in a relationship and you really love the person, but things aren't going the way that you wish for it to go, when you watch romance movies (i.e. Something New, Rumor Has It, etc.... other new releases out there). Is it natural for a woman to cry??? I mean, if you are in a relationship, shouldn't you be fulfilled enough to not want, yearn or identify for what you visually see on screen?

By the way, I am a not in an physical abusive relationsip.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 8:50am

>>Is it natural for a woman to cry??? <<
It's not just women. I've seen men cry in sad movies too.

>>I mean, if you are in a relationship, shouldn't you be fulfilled enough to not want, yearn or identify for what you visually see on screen? <<

If that were the case, why would anyone ever watch a movie? The whole enjoyment of a movie comes from letting yourself go with the story and identifying with the characters.

I am in a wonderfully happy marriage and am very content. We have no "ups and downs". But I love to absolutely howl my way through a soppy movie. Give me a weepy movie, my pyjamas, a box of tissues, a bar of chocolate and I'm in heaven.

And feeling for on screen characters (or book characters for that matter) has nothing to do with real life. Did you see "The Bridges of Madison County"? Do you remember at the end when Meryl Streep had her hand on the car door handle and had to decide between her husband and her lover? I remember crying my eyes out and willing her to go with the lover. But I have absolutely no desire to take a lover and abscond with him in real life!!

Having said all that though, a relationship that has "ups and downs" and takes it's toll on you is not a good relationship. A good relationship is easy and comfortable. I suggest that you take a good look at why you're not content.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 7:15pm

>>want, yearn or identify<<

Just clarifying my previous post. I suppose it depends on what you're wanting or yearning for. If you see a woman on screen who takes a lover and you think it's a good idea - then you've got probems. However, if you simply feel for and empathise with the character, then it's totally normal.

Lastly, I haven't seen the movies that you spoke of (not my style) - so I'm working on the assumption that the bits you cry in have everyone else crying too.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 3:51pm

Ditto to what Aisha said.. Plus, will say there are times I just have an urge to cry. Not movies or anything, I feel it is clensing to my soul. I have been driving in a car with my BF and we are total silence and just had an awesome time. It is nothing to do with him I just will look at the stars and think over life and for those things gone away and those I think of in the future I want to cry. Once I do I can move also movies can do the same. I did not use to be so sappy and cry like I do now (and no I am not about to have a baby) but it is always good cries. I do not feel bad afterwards just an ahh that is so sweet and sometimes in movies like I wish my guy was like that or did that. It usually lasts a moment because I know my guy isn't and if he was like many of the guys in the movies I wouldn't have anything to do with him.


So if it is the problems and seeing the guys in the movies you see your relationship is really lacking then address that. Because being unhappy in your relationship will lead to disaster. But, if it is the normal oh I wish but you know it is just a passing sappy movie it is ok.

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