Does it have future?
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Does it have future?
| Sun, 05-28-2006 - 11:31am |
I am in a situation that really made me confused. I am a thinker so I always think about everything and analyze it and of course, come up with the worst conclusions. Thats what I really dont like about myself ... Anyway, I was in a long term relationship, we broke up and I went through many dates. Finally, I met a guy that I honestly think is Mr.Right for me. He is the cutest and sweetest guy I ever met. Since we met, were together almost every day, talking on the phone, .... He moved here from NJ, lives with his three cousins and does not have cell phone which is a problem. They have only a house phone with no long distance so he cannot call me. I am the only person calling and it makes me feel really like I bother him. SOmetimes, he can use his cousins phone so calls me but that is not that often. Anyway, he slept over on Friday and we had a really nice time. We were talking and I know he likes me since he kept holding me, kissing me and when he was leaving, he did not want to go. The problem is, he is going to school 2 hours from the city and will be there on Campus. I talked to him about this and all he was saying that he will think about it, that he didnt have any plans with meeting someone, ... anyway, his classes start in a week and he is leaving on friday. I told him to look at other schools that I would even help him .... You know, i tried to convince him to stay here. So it is Sunday, he has not called me so he probably went down there to check in into his apartment as he said. Now, I am really confused cuz I am not good in the dating scene. I really like him and dont want to loose him. He promised we will be together every weekend. Now my questions are, what do guys think when a girl keeps calling? What about the situation he does not have a phone? Does it make him less interested? How much space guys need? Does it have future if he is in another city? How should I approach the all situation? All I do is thinking and about to cry that I will loose him. Is it that bad I wanna be with him every day?
I know it is long but I will appreciate any feedback and advice. Thanks
I know it is long but I will appreciate any feedback and advice. Thanks

These feelings you have are normal when you're head over heels for someone and start feeling insecure, but do know that when those feelings are expressed as clinginess, then chances are good that you will end up driving the person away. I think the best thing is to be upfront about your worries rather than resorting to calling everyday or doing things that would make him feel suffocated. If he has strong feelings for you, then he will make some effort to stay in contact and make sure you feel assured. If his feelings are not the same as yours, well, it will become apparent in a number of ways. He'll tell you that you're not giving him enough space, he'll neglect to return your calls, or break up with you, among other possibilities.
But the tone of your message is that you are getting clingy and this is never a good thing to convey in a relationship. A relationship should be based on mutual respect and trust, not co-dependency. Make sure you two have something more healthy and solid at the foundation of this relationship. If you find yourself constantly feeling unsure and desperate, it's a sign that it's an unhealthy relationship you'd be better off walking away from.