How soon is too soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
How soon is too soon?
8
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 12:05pm

I took about a half a year off from dating so that I could find myself and truly know what I want in a relationship.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 12:32pm

It sounds like you're experiencing infatuation more than love right now. It's only been a month, not nearly enough time to establish whether or not you two are compatible life partners, but long enough to realize you're very attracted to one another. I think this early part of a relationship is great and you should enjoy it to the fullest, but try to stay grounded and remember that's it's most likely romantic chemistry and infatuation, which does not form the foundation for a stable, long term partnership.

I think we've seen many posts differentiate between infatuation and love so you might browse for those. I've been with my boyfriend for just six months and in that time I've seen our relationship go through a number of stages. I definitely felt that early electricity and attraction, which was wonderful, but it wasn't love. I don't think you can truly love someone you've just met. It was only as I got to know him better and better, saw some of his flaws, and exposed him to mine that I felt we progressed to something closer to love.

Just enjoy your time together, but don't feel the need to formalize your affection by getting married or moving in together just yet. Those things seem very romantic and natural when you've found someone you're crazy about, but come back to reality once in a while and get to know him over a longer period of time first. You can feel like you know someone really well after a few long conversations, but nothing can substitute for the longer stretches of time where you REALLY get to know him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 12:40pm

He BROKE DOWN AND CRIED! What a loser! Dump him in a heartbeat! He's psycho!! Run from the burning building!!

This from a guy who cried at a play just this past weekend (that'd be me). Ok, all kidding aside, agree w/ SBChick - great that you guys found each other. Just 'cause you're in love w/ each other, or whatever it is you are (and yes, you can be in love w/ someone that fast, I believe), have a good time, go out some more, take a trip together. You in some kind of rush? Got a train to catch? My wife and I were together for a couple of years before we moved to the next level - we got a dog!

Enjoy the guy, see where it goes, don't get all heavy w/ the conversation. Then go pick out rings in a few weeks!

David
www.BeBetterGuys.com
The Guy's Guide to Getting a Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 3:23pm

Oh my God!!!! Hahaha


Okay, no I'm in no rush to move in with this guy or anything, and certainly not to get married to him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 7:30pm

I'm not sure what your original question was pertaining to then. How soon is too soon for what? I guess I'm just a little more jaded and don't believe in love at first sight (instant attraction yes, love, no). But if you're lucky enough to have found someone you're instantly drawn to and the feeling is mutual, then by all means enjoy one another and see where it goes.

It sounds like you answered your own query.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 10:35am

Well, yeah- I guess I did sorta answer my own question.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2005
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 10:29am
well i have to say that it does seem a little weird that a 28 year old man would break down crying about a woman he's known for one month. I guess everyone is different...but I would just wonder what had gone on in his past to make him feel these feelings...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 10:53am

What do you mean?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 7:07am

I have to disagree my parents went out and 3 weeks later tehy were married so I have to say it depends on the situation also my parents didn;t know each other but they did know the families but never met before the date.