Am I a fool or what this is long
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Am I a fool or what this is long
| Tue, 06-13-2006 - 12:31pm |
I'll try to make this long story short. I met a guy online almost two years ago while I was going thru a divorce. I'm divorced with 3 kids The guy came to visit me on serveral ocassions. Fast forward to now this guy is now my boyfriend we have been living together for over a year off and on I'll get to that in a minute. This was not a rebound relationship. I am truly deeply in love with him. This is the best relationship I have ever had. Saying that is not like I've had a lot of relationship infact this is my second serious realtionship. Well I have had some hard times with this guy for starters when we first started chatting he was single I was seperated. He cheated on me if you want to call it that. I fprgave him because I was still married and we lived in to different states. We met online i nver thought that this relationship would go anywhere. So we got over that road block he moved in with me the winter of 2005. Things were fine for a few months he found a job in my state, my divorce was moving forward. Then out of nowhere bo signs no nothing he had how should I say it a Mental break down. The month he had the break down is the month his brother died 4 years ago. He was committted for observation for 3 days on two ocassions. I should have ran for the hills but I didnt I love this guy I am way beyond being infactuated with him. But needless to say I tried to stick it out with him during his trying time. But his mom persauded him to move back home. At the time it was a good idea because I have 3 small children to take care of and it was very hard on me. So he moved back home. We still talked all the time he wanted to come back he felt like I betrayed him. Needless to say he came back 2 months later after dealing with his problems and getting the help he needed. He asked me to marry him with out thinking i said yes. I love this guy I would love to be his wife. Yeah you guys are saying she is crazy. But he came back things were going fine so I thought. Then a few months after that he just jumped up one morning backed his bags and left just like that exactly. No explanation to me or nothing. I was devasted I didnt know what was going on. I called him and emailed him and all I got was he didnt love me and he didnt want to be in a relationship with me. Fine I didnt like it but I was trying to deal with it. So a month goes by and I don't call him he doesnt call me this was right before thanksgiving when he left. I talked to him before Christmas he was glad that I had called because he lost my number. He apologized told me his was stressed he missed his daughter. But he wanted to come back to me because he was wrong he did want to be with me. So yet again I let him come back. We talked things over he came back in January. We are nolonger engaged we are just going to take things slow. So in April he stared going on about how this isnbt the realationship for him and he wanted to leave and not come back. So I said ok this is it when you leave there is no coming back. So right before he was suppose to leave he told me he was only going to visit because he didnt want to loose ne. So he went back home for 2 weeks he came back early bacause he missed me so much that was last month everything was going good. Then last Sunday he gets mad at me because I can't make potato salad. I tried 3 times I just couldnt figure out how donee the potatoes should be. So since then he hasnt shown me any affection. He says that I should know how to cook. But I don't because I was never shown that is another story I came from A broken family I have risen above that. But damn this guy I am so in love with him. I am not the woman he wants me to be should I just let this relationship end and find someone who will except me for who I am. I really am in love with this guy. I want to stick it out with him. He is very intelligent he is a good lover, friend and good good. He gets along well with my family and my kids. Am I being really stupid thinking this realtionship will go anywhere. He doesnt want to show me any affection until I learn how to cook potatoes lol.

Are you a fool? I don't know. But you're being *played* the fool.
More importantly though, you've got three small kids, and you don't have the right to bring this chaos, uncertainty, and instability into their lives by being involved with this mentally unstable guy.
"I came from A broken family I have risen above that. "
How do you figure? Just from what you've written here you haven't risen above that, you've created it for you and your children. Now you love your children immeasurably, so you've got to stand up and put your emotional attachment and dependancy on this guy aside. They, and you, deserve better.
You do realize it's not about potato salad, it's about him feeling the desire to run away again, right?
You can let him go and continue the cycle when he's ready to come back again, or you can decide "no more...I'm not putting myself and I'm especially not putting my poor *kids* through this any more!"
If you stick it out, this will happen over and over and over again (unless he gets professional help for his issues, but even then there's a chance it won't resolve his ambivalence about being in a relationship with you). Is that really what you want? Sometimes, love isn't enough...it sounds like this is one of those times.
Sheri