Need advice-Did I scare him off??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Need advice-Did I scare him off??
3
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 1:50am

okay so I need a little advice.. from guys or girls ...PLEASE :-)

So I caught up with this guy (he works with my best friend) on friday, who I have knows for about a year through mutual camping trips. We have had a "connection" for a little while but only see each other a few times in the summer. On Friday I ended up catching up with him and his friends, with the girls, who I was out with. We ended up dancing all night and right at the begining he grabbed my number and asked if he could call me, yes of course I said. We have not been able to hook up previous cause of other relationships on both sides.

So come the end of the night I ended up loosing him as he got entangled in a discussion with his ex girlfriend. I was pretty "liquid happy" by that time and ended up calling him a few times with out any answer to see if I could track him down. Then we ended up heading over to his place (with out him), with his roomate and a bunch of other people. I called him just as we arrived as we had yet to find him and left him a voice mail.

He never showed up. After I got home I texted him saying "missed you at your place. call me if you like" .
My question...

I know this was to much hounding and wouldn't normally do it but I did. I am just wondering if this would put off a quy from actually "calling"?

Since it is now Tues night I'm thinking there will be no call.. is this right?

Please Help and sorry for the long blog...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 8:41am

It might put soem guys off. It might also be that he just ended up caught up talking to (or maybe hooking up with) his ex and that's why he never showed.

There's really only one way to know and that's talking to him.

Personally, if it were me, I'd wait until the next time I saw him in person and could oull him aside for a moment and I'd say this, "Hey, sorry, if I seemed a little psycho the other night. It must have been the buss I had. I hope you wont hold it against me, because I enjoy hanging out with youand don't want things to be weird."

Then I'd just leave it at that and see what happens. I wouldn't "discuss" it with him. I'd just make my apology and move on. In my mind, doing anything more would just be compounding things and make me seem even more desparate and psycho then I've already made myself out to be.

If you're curious as to what other things make you look "psycho" to guys. Go to www.psychosamantha.com and read some of the stuff or take the "Psycho Analysis" quiz.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 7:06pm

stellaat23...

PG would like you to reverse the situation.

If you were texted by a person who was totally drunk and involved in an incident similar to the one you've described...HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

The last thing any man (or woman) wants to do is "arrange another set-up" with a partner who has trouble holding his (or her) liquor!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 2:00pm

Hey Stellakat -

I have made a complete ass out of myself when it comes to drunk dialing. I think many people fall victim to it. You feel embarassed for a bit, but honestly...it was a mistake and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. My cell phone died when I was out one night and I was so desperate to call this new guy that I asked every body around me if they had t-mobile so I could put my SIM card in their phone to call him. And I called him repeatedly. My girlfriends and I share stories like that and realize that as lame as it was, there's nothing you can do about it but move on. And of course try to control yourself when you're drinking :)

If I were you, I wouldn't call him again. He obviously has your number and will call you if he's interested. I would delete his number out of your phone - it'll remove any temptation to call...esp if you go out again in the near future! If he calls then you'll have it again. You could even leave your cell at home before you go out or have a friend put it in her purse so you won't be inclined to call anyone.

If you do end up seeing him when you and your friends are all out, I would act as if nothing happened. Meaning don't bring up the fact that you called and texted and didn't receive a reply. Act completely casual. I would assume that he knows you were drinking so I doubt he thinks you're "psycho".

One last thing - If his ex is still around and he was hanging out with her (if he didn't come home that night chances are he was with her) then I would stay away. That's always bad news!

So that was my two cents - best of luck!