I'm attracted to my boss...what do I do

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
I'm attracted to my boss...what do I do
5
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 10:53pm
I am attracted to my boss he is 40 I am 30. Sometimes it seems that the feelings are mutual but he doesn't want to cross that line. We are both single. Everytime I think about him or around him I get that tingly feeling. I am not a flirtatous type. I don't know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 11:39pm

That is a difficult situation. If he were just a co-worker, I'd say be discreet and cautious, but pursue it. But he's your boss. In that case, I think that's a line that shouldn't be crossed. It could get very complicated for you and jeopardize your work situation. The only way I would pursue it is if you or he left the company and you decided to stay in contact.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 7:22am

sportsminded11...

After reading your post a couple of times, PG came up with the same question:

"Has your boss ever given you an indication that HIS FEELINGS ARE AS STRONG FOR YOU...AS YOURS APPEAR TO BE FOR HIM?"

While 'inter-office relationships' occur in many workplaces...at least one half of any partnership is often placed in jeopardy! It could be your job, the position your boss holds, or 'red flags' for the BOTH OF YOU?

No matter how understanding and agreeable your co-workers might appear to be...you can bet there's at least one or two who will bring up the fact that YOU'RE RECEIVING FAVORABLE TREATMENT (by the boss) OVER THEM...because of your personal involvement!

Is this something you want to face on a day-to-day basis?

Can you honestly keep your personal feelings separate from the professional work you've been hired to do?

Just out of curiosity...how do you think your boss would respond if he became 'pressured by your co-workers' to let you go---in the event the 2 of you became involved?

Please give these 'possible consequences' a little thought?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 11:41am
I have thought of so many of these questions. I really just don't know the answers. The one thing I forgot to mention is that he already displays some favorable treatment towards me. There is already a rumor going around work that we are involved because of some of the things that I get. So I don't know....I quickly denied and squashed the rumors as not being true, but yes there are still jealous co workers out there. It's just a really confusing time right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 12:08pm
Since you have already seen there is rumors about you and you know if a relationship were possible with him, are you willing to leave your current position?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:43am

been there, done that - have the scars to prove it!

I can tell you RIGHT NOW - there is a REASON why these type of relationships are taboo and frown upon. One year after mutual feelings were acknowledged I was looking for a new job and that year in between was great and not great at the same time.

I also have a co-worker who is suspected to be involved with our boss (if nothing else they are super close friends) it makes the environment strange and makes the rest of us feel uneasy - and our concerns are VALID - we have every right to feel annoyed and anxious about their situation.

So... do what you want (I know you will because we rarely heed warnings - it's only once we are knee deep that we can see the truth) but I'm telling you - the best thing to do is either get your feelings under control and see the relationship for what it is... a WORKING relationship or RUN - get another job and ONLY then... approach your EX boss in a relationship setting!

Best of luck!