need opnions....
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need opnions....
| Mon, 06-19-2006 - 12:21pm |
hey there. i really need some opnions about a situation me n my bf are going through right now. we have been dating for going on 6 months (our anniversary is actually the 29th of this month). what does it mean when a guy says he needs space? have u ever said it? what did u mean by it? what happened afterwards? does it mean hes going to break up with me? i have been cryin so much lately due to this situation. im just afraid that the first guy i truely love is about to end it. so any insight would be greatly appreciated.
-ohsoconfused.
-ohsoconfused.

I agree that that answer will have to come
there's nothing you can do except be patient and respect his request for space. try not to call him or contact him, but feel free to answer when/if he calls you. the ball is in his court if you've decided you want to be with him. if you don't, you can turn the 'break' into a 'break-up' and move on. you can ask him how long of a break he wants, but keep in mind he might not have an answer to that.
I know it's tough... my ex asked for a 'mental break.' have no clue what that means. i haven't asked him how long he needs to sort things out... i have decided to just move on. if he eventually calls and says he'd like to get back together, i'll see where i'm at in life, if i'm dating anyone, etc. and decide then. but for now, i'm treating it like a permanent break-up.
Hi,
Have you read the book "Mars/Venus on a date" by John Gray? It explains perfectly that it's normal for guys to want to pull away after intimacy (emotional or physical), to regroup themselves and find autonomy. They're like rubberband - they pull away every now and then but if we act appropriately (i.e. giving him the space he needs and not acting needy or clingy) then they will spring back eventually. It helps me understand male behaviors a lot better.
This forum might help you in the meantime.
http://www.marsvenus.com/forums/index.php?act=SF&s=9c733f4e5bee4bc7bd4bf7d237a4e52f&f=18
There are tons of women out there that are in similar situation. Apparently, it's very common among men. I don't think I agree completely with the advice given by the book that we should just allow them to "rubberband" whenever they feel like it, but I think understanding why it happens can be beneficial so you don't get so upset.