Tips for dating an older guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Tips for dating an older guy
6
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:58am
Hi everyone! I recently started seeing an older guy. I'm 23, he's 33. I don't act like a "typical" 23 yr old and that I should try dating someone older. So far things are great. He's very sweet, compliments me all the time, has a great sense of humor, etc. I've been treated pretty badly by guys in the past. I'm really trying to not think this guy will be like the others. Can anyone give any insight into dating someone older? Are they less likely to be players? Also, how can I leave my past behind and not let it influence my future? I would like things to work with this new guy. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:33pm

Welcome MsKitty!!!! Let me tell you guys in their 20's can be

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:13pm

Tips for dating an older guy:

Remember he needs more fiber in his diet; regular exercise, too. The elderly really do get stiff if all they do is sit and rock all day, that's not just some Geritol hokum.

Cut up his food into bite-size pieces; choking has been the #3 cause for ruining dates with older guys.

Help him walk across the street; when the vision and hearing go, you're a goner when you get out in traffic.

Oh, I cracked myself up with those!! OK, seriously, here's the deal - yes, guys can suck at any age (look at Donald Trump, what's he, like 60?!) but it sounds like you've got a good one. The key is that most guys mature later, and a lot of guys aren't worth crap 'till they're 30 anyway (meaning they still think being a knucklehead's funny to someone watching, which it isn't, but that hasn't stopped Las Vegas from having huge growth). Chances are, he's a more serious guy than you've had, which is good b/c women at your age (I'm in my mid-30s, old man that I am...) are usually just starting to think about getting a little more serious.

So it's a win for everyone - you get a mature guy, who's over the whole "hanging from the rafters" thing, he's on his way to making a living, there should be some stability there, and he gets a fresh, young hotrod of a 23-yr-old to show off to his friends and get down with every night. Sounds great to me! Got any friends?

KIDDING, I'm married....but if I weren't.....

David
www.BeBetterGuys.com
The Guy's Guide to Getting a Life

PS - You have no past, you're only 23. Talk to me when you're his age - THEN you have a past!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:55pm
LOL, thanks for you're imput David! When I first started reading your response, I was like hey he's not that old but I knew you were kidding! You were right about him being different or more mature than most guys I've dated. He even came right out and said girls don't seem to think you're interested in them unless your hand is up their skirt. He also asked me straight out, do you think anything I've said has been to get you in the sack? I said no and he said alright then don't put me in the same group or think I'm like other guys. I was like Wow...so this is how it's gonna be huh? Hopefully things keep going the way they are, God willing! Thanks again for your imput! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 3:37pm

I still want to say that some guys, not necessarily YOUR guy, but some guys will say things to differentiate themselves from "all the other guys". Hell, I did it when I was dating...and some of it's true, and some of it's, well, sort-of true.

Just be cool w/ things, don't give it up too early, always make a man work, always...you can take off the breaks once you're engaged! But really, keep your eyes open, there are a lot of wheeler-dealers out there, LOTS, and some have verrrry convincing skills.

As we say in football, always protect the quarterback. Catch my drift?

David
www.BeBetterGuys.com
The Guy's Guide to Getting a Life

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 5:33pm

<< Can anyone give any insight into dating someone older? >>

There isn't anything specific about dating someone older ... the same principles apply regardless of age. 1) be yourself, 2) don't be clingy, needy, jealous, or any of those things that turn guys off like the plague and 3) appreciate him and accept him as the individual that he is.

Do those things, and you're on the right path ... regardless of age.

<< Are they less likely to be players? >>

hehehe. No. They just become players with more skill and experience. Less "buffoonish" than younger players, probably a little more "slick" ... but, don't think for a minute that only guys in their 20s are players. They come in all ages, shapes and sizes. ;-)

But, from what you've said, he doesn't sound like a player. So, just take his words and actions at face value, and be smart about it if/when something happens that you don't like, know what's acceptable to you and what's not, keep your boundaries in tact, and you'll be fine. Again, this applies regardless of a guy's age.

<< Also, how can I leave my past behind and not let it influence my future? >>

As trite as it sounds, you just do. The past is the past, leave it there. You're only 23-y/o, barring anything tragic that's happened in your past (and I hope it wasn't anything tragic), all I can say is ... everyone gets BURNED every now and then. We all have disappointments, failed relationships, perhaps have been lied to, cheated on, trusted the wrong guy, whatever ... such is life. You pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move on. You live and learn.

But, one thing that will ruin any relationship that has potential is projecting your past into the present and into the future. It's up to you to just acknowledge your past, and learn what lessons you can from it so that it doesn't influence your future.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Wed, 06-21-2006 - 11:21am
Thanks for your insights! I can only hope for the best.