REALLY CONFUSED

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
REALLY CONFUSED
2
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 2:40pm
Really need help, Ive been with this guy for the past 2 years, to start with everything was good, he moved in with me and my 2 kids who were 11 and 13 at the time, after about 6 months he started going out drinking, then he moved out saying he needed space, then he moved completely away for 3 months at which point he was seeing someone else but still txting me saying how much he loved me and i should wait for him. it was only when he eventually came back that i found out there was someone else, after alot of tears i forgave him, things started to be good again until about 4 months ago, he has been out drinking most nights and sometimes he doesnt come home til the next day, when i question him he just says whats your problem im only out drinking. So last weekend i packed his clothes and dumped them next to his van, I havent seen him since all i get are txts from him saying he wants to change and he is no good for me while he is drinking, he also keeps promising to meet up so we can talk but that never happens. Shouid i just forget him and move on even though i really do love him
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 6:45pm

I'm going to be blunt - I'm absolutely appalled that all this has happened in a house with two impressionable children.

He's been moving in and out of your house. Stays out all night drinking and cheating on you. Hon, what are you thinking having him in your house as a role model for your children? You should have kicked him out and forgotten him when he started staying out drinking the very first time.

At the end of the day, you have children who need stable parenting and good role models. This man is obviously inacapable of providing either. Stop thinking about him and stop thinking about yourself. Put your children and their wellbeing first.

And get some counselling for yourself. Find out why you would accept this type of behaviour even for a moment. You need to do some solid work on your self esteem.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 1:01pm

shelley151266...

3 questions from PG:

1. Are you sure you REALLY want to be with this man...considering his drinking habits and instability when it comes to a relationship?

2. What sort of a message are you sending to your 11 and 13 year olds about the man their "mom" wants to be with?

3. How many times can you put yourself through the same process without going TOTALLY MENTAL? Promises don't mean 'diddly-squat' when a man (or woman) has no intention of keeping them!

Pianoguy