A little advice??
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| Wed, 06-28-2006 - 2:49pm |
Ok, I'm not in the habit of asking complete strangers for relationship advice but I'm hoping I'll get some objective advice her, ladies.
I have been dating a great guy for 3 1/2 years. Last summer I realized that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Well, this past Christmas his brother proposed to his girlfriend of 5 months and she accepted. It's been really hard on me because I was really hoping my sweetie would pop the question. Needless to say, I kind of fell apart over the holidays but we have since move passed it (well, he has).
Anyway. Fast forward six months and he still can't even have a discussion about getting married without being clearly uncomfortable. We talked about it 2 weeks ago and he said he doesn't want to share the spot light with his brother's big day so he doesn't want to discuss it until after their big day (Sept.).
Problem is, I really feel hurt by that. If he wanted to marry me, wouldn't he just go for it?
So help me out girls. I'm pulling my hair out.

Actually, I can understand him not wanting to take the light off his brother and soon to be wife. How would you feel you get engaged and then your sister. Of course everyone would be happy for you but then your sister the newest one oh they would be all into her and it to me is not fair.
nc_native...
An honest question from Pianoguy....who is a male and not a woman!
"What makes you think that just because the brother of your b/f has proposed marriage that YOUR B/F HAS TO AS WELL?"
Face it!
The 2 of you have been together for 3.5 years...and your b/f is now putting the marriage conversation off at least until September. So if you want to wait a couple months more just to see if he keeps his promise, FINE!
If you don't...stop fantasizing about an event that may (or may not) happen and look at what you have right now!
Any woman can feel very hurt when her dreams don't turn out the way she wants them to., BUT...your 'emotional disappointment' WON'T CHANGE YOUR BOYFRIEND'S FEELINGS!
If he chooses to propose or ignore this issue even longer, you've got to look at "your life" the way it is RIGHT NOW! Not the way you expect or hope it will be!
Pianoguy
I do think that there’s probably some truth to the fact that he doesn’t want to take away from his brother’s big day. But he may be using that as a convenient excuse.
Did you ask him why it makes him uncomfortable to talk about the "M" word? Does he know how you feel and that you want to marry him?
Wow, yeah I know how you feel. I'm in a similar situation. For me at first I thought I was gonna marry this guy. But over the years, I knew that this guy was only for the time being and not for the future. If I were you, I would cut your losses...but that's easier said than done. The whole thing about him saying he doesn't want to share in his brother light...well that's just an excuse the avoid the whole situation...and he's telling you that he's not ready..period.
Think about it like this, wouldn't you want to be with someone that wants to marry you and wants to be with you? Or would you want to be with someone that doesn't know what he wants. You are young and with that there are plenty of guys out there...check out match.com and see what you can find on there. In the meantime, move on from this guy and don't waste your time when you can be spending it meeting other guys and seeing what else is out there...good luck!