Is This A Red Flag !

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2005
Is This A Red Flag !
5
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 12:56pm

Hello I just need someone opinions. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 month now. Things in the relationship are good, but I want to know if i should be concerned about something that my bf ask me? He ask me today if i had a driver licence so that he can get a car and I told him no i did not have one, which in fact I do have one. I understand were he is coming from in want to get a car for he just got a new job and need to tarvel from where he live NJ all the way to brooklyn in NYC. My question is this a red flag and should I be worry about him using me to get things that he wants.

P.S. I have no plans in giving him my licence.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 1:11pm

YES YES YES...this is a red flag.

Now I don't know how old you are or how old he is. I can't understand why he can't get a license. Now if there's something that he did to prevent him from getting a license, then that's his problem...don't make it yours. If he starts using you and wanting to use your car, and him not having a license...well look at it this way...if he takes your car, gets into an accident, and he doesn't have a license...well then it's YOUR fault. So no matter how much he sweet talks you...don't do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 2:06pm

hello just wanted to say thank you for you time to answer me. Well there is a big age different I am 22 and his 32. He is not an American citizen and he has been living in America for 7 years now. He just retuned for his home country which is Turkey to attend his younger brother wedding.

Because of him asking me about my driver licence and it being a red flag, he did say at the end that he would try to get his own. Another question is how big of a red flag is this. It leading to point where I am thinking aboutleave this relatioship or should I watch see how this play out. Because have has done so many nice thing for me like cook, he aways paid when we go out on a dates, bought me this very nice rug from his trip to Turkey. And I really do care about him. But as you said before not to be fooled into his sweet talk and the thing he do,which i will not.

Should I stay or go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 7:19pm

I'm in Australia and don't quite understand the issue. How does you having a license help him get a car? And why did you lie to him?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 7:33pm

I am confused as well; I mean, from what I remember about buying cars, they don't ask you to prove you have a license when you buy one. So why would it matter if you have a license or not? Of course I'm from Chicago, so perhaps the rules are different here in Illinois, I don't know. But, either way, I know you can get a drivers license without being a US citizen, so he should just go and get one!

Maybe if I understood what was going on I could say whether or not this is a red flag...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 4:34am

Oh I think that is definetely a red flag! He should get his own driver's license and get his own things! Dang, what is wrong with these young dude's today! I mean, my daughter's now fiance has been living off of her(she allows it), for 4 years now, well really longer than that! She buys his weed, clothes, food and lets him drive her car wherever he wants to. Yeah, she thinks she is controllin him right! NOT!!! She is lettin him live on "easy street"! I have 2 beautiful grandchildren from them and I love my grandbabies and my daughter but I'm tellin ya, once you start giving him things to make "his" way easier in the world, it's all over with from there! It doesn't matter to any dude what your "good intentions" would be.........trust me! That's just giving him the opportunity to really go for it!!!

Christina