Pianoguy--me too me too. need your opine
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Pianoguy--me too me too. need your opine
| Sun, 07-09-2006 - 10:09pm |
you can read my other post entitled "am i reading into this too much" and i know you can't tell me what he's doing because you're not a mind reader, but maybe you can help me with this in the male department. my sitch in a nutshell (help how did i get in this nutshell----sorry that was lame), i have been dating this guy for 3 mos. i am moving out of the state at the end of this month. this guy i was dating was moving to the same state (coincidentally) and then got hired by an airline and is moving somewhere else in the u.s. suffice it to say, i doubt a l.d.r. would work and we haven't discussed it much, but that's neither here nor there. lately he's been studying. i know it's tough, they have lots of tests they have to pass in order to even stay hired on by the company. he's got one more week left. in the past few weeks he's been increasingly distant. could be he knows we're not going to the same state anymore---> so what's the point in getting closer, etc. who knows. all i know is i care about him, but if he is just going to distance himself from me, why won't he let me break up with him? i've told him several times that i think we need space, he just says no we don't and let's continue to see each other. i get a hunch there might be someone else he has met recently and with my impending move he is no longer interested in hanging out. here's my question. i have confronted him on what i think is going on, he thinks i'm insane and tells me that is not what's going on and that if i can wait one more week he'll be done with this ground school and we can hang out for awhile before i move, etc. then he was spewing some crap about going to the bahamas together or something (again, i think he just likes to tell me what i want to hear)...so if there is someone else, why won't he let me give him the boot? why does he hang on to me if he knows i'm moving? why can't he just be friggin honest (gosh) and say there is someone else he wants to hang out with, but he still wants to see me too. of course i would kick him in his shins and run out of the room, but at least i wouldn't think he is a spineless coward for blatantly lying. and no, i don't know if he's lying, but if it walks like a duck.......do you think i'm just being neurotic and like everyone else looking for answers i'll never get. and if so, being a guy, is there some magic sentence i could write that will just make him want to evoke the truth on me until it hurts. i can handle the truth...and no, the firm is not on in the background! thanks i appreciate your male advice....the ones in my world are so sick of this story!

ltlgrllost...
You asked...so here's PG's answer:
Any potentially new job involves STRESS! And at the moment, the man you "think" you're in love with is trying to juggle all the necessary applications, interviews, ground control classes, and the rest of the crap that comes with the joy of "flying the friendly skies!"
So expecting him to make a permanent "life decision" for the 2 of you isn't only DUMB, but very unrealistic! Thie man's focus is on his work and his upcoming move.
YOU are definitely important in his life...and at the moment, are also "a living security blanket" for him! Most of us like the chance to share our experiences with family members, friends, and sweethearts whom we know we can trust. Simply because most of them will offer us some sort of encouragement and support?
If you wish to speculate about this man's fidelity (aka another woman), along with his sincerity when it comes to you...and the possibility of a future together...THAT'S UP TO YOU! But in lieu of his upcoming move, the new job and some of the other stuff he has already said (that you completely believe, slightly believe or don't believe at all), I think you should CONTINUE WITH YOUR OWN MOVING PLANS & EXPECT NOTHING FROM THE MAN YOU THINK YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH!
Sorry...but just because a man can't (or won't) give you the answers you're expecting AT THE PRECISE MOMENT YOU ASK THE QUESTION...doesn't make him a "spineless coward!" .
Frankly...if your attitude and the feelings you've expressed in your post are how you believe the majority of us behave....you MIGHT want to SERIOUSLY CONSIDER "staying single?"
Most men aren't interested in putting up with women who possess extraordinarily large "chips on their shoulders?"
Pianoguy