Laying it on the table....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Laying it on the table....
3
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:04pm

Ok...major breakthrough here with the "Is He or Isn't He" situation! Still need some help on the next step though...

Through a friend I have learned that the guy in question may think that I am not interested in him as anything other than a friend. I am a shy person who is naturally reserved and cautious in new and unusual situations and feel that due to this I may have made this guy feel rejected becuase I didn't accept all of his advances. It was not becuase I didn't WANT what he was offering it was simply becuase I was afraid of where things might go sexually due to the fact that both of us were drunk and I am VERY physically attracted to him. I did not think about how he might have perceived these actions of mine becuase I was so caught up in my own thoughts and fears so I did not communicate to him my reasons behind my actions.

What I would like opinions on is whether or not, after two and a half weeks, I should just call this guy and clear up the possible misunderstanding. I would like to just be open and honest with him about my feelings, but don't want to freak him out. I have always been a very subtle person who has a hard time revealing and expressing her feelings, but feel that in this case it is exactly what I need to do. How do men feel about having a woman just lay it all on the table and just TELL HIM how she feels about the situation...for me that would mean to tell him that I enjoy his company, have a favorable impression with him as a person and am attracted to him and if possible would like the chance to spend some time with him and get to know him better and see where things might go? I know that this guy goes out on dates with women on a fairly regular basis though it has been a while since he has been in any sort of steady and exclusive relationship and I don't want to loose my spot in the game.

Opinions please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:10pm

I wouldn’t lay it all on the table because it doesn’t seem necessary. You would be making the first move in my opinion. I would begin flirting when around and mentioning to him he is the type I’d date. That would be it though.

Marie


Verse of the Day


“ Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. ”- Romans 15:2

Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:17pm
He and I have already been out once for drinks and then to this party...he's already made the first moves, I just think he thought I wasn't reciprocating his interested becuase of my reserve in allowing my own interest to show through...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 12:24pm
It is just how I am and not wanting to set a pattern and I want the guy to chase me. I know once I am in a relationship I want a lot of attention and so in the beginning that is how I want things to be. You hae hung out with him and know if your actions were so putting off that he will think your not interested and if you putting it all on the line with him will get him up and going. I'd rather send the message back through the friend that I was interested and thought he wasn't then to lay it on the line and not get the response I was hoping for.

Marie


Verse of the Day


“ Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. ”- Romans 15:2

Marie