very confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2005
very confused
3
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 5:33pm
This may be a bit long, I'll try to shorten as i go. Anyway, I've been married now for almost 10 yrs it hasn't been the easiest of marriages and recently I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He refused said I could only have a divorce if I left without my children. Never happen. Okay now for my confussing part. A couple of years ago I met someone who was also in a relationship at the time. I was very drawn to him and he made it clear he was also interested. We never acted on any of that though and they moved away. Problem solved, no. I saw his girlfriend at the store one day with one of their children and agreed to come visit the kids and bring mine over to play. So it starts again nothing had changed between him and I. Anyway, a few days ago I get a call from him saying him and his girlfriend have split up and we should get together. I desperately want to be with him, but I am still married. I'm not sure what I should do or if he just wants a piece or what. Help
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
In reply to: pinkpickles
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 5:45pm
I have a few questions. What do you want? Is the idea of divorce on the table and no way to work things out because of this other man? Do you think you will resent him if you got the divorce and you did not get your children? Why did him and the girlfriend break, was it you and your husband knows and why he has choosen the option without the kids you can have the divorce?

Marie


Verse of the Day


“ Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. ”- Romans 15:2

Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2005
In reply to: pinkpickles
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 11:47pm
Our marriage has been a disaster for years, before i ever even met this other man. My husband does not want to give up his family or happiness for me to be happy. The children have always been everything to me and would be better off with me because of some of his issues. I know the other man and his girlfriend also have had problems for sometime. I don't think I'm the reason.I have not been happy for a long time, when your afraid of your husband some of the time and can't stand him to touch you, it's time to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
In reply to: pinkpickles
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:03am

Thanks for responding.. When you afraid of your husband yes there is a problem. But also I feel there is a grieving time or alone time after a break to find yourself. So with this I would suggest a year alone no dating and focusing on the children and yourself before moving on.


I know many women here do not agree with me but it helps when you look at the posts from women who moved right on to something new versus those who do not it is the best move.

Marie


Verse of the Day


“ Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. ”- Romans 15:2

Marie