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| Fri, 07-14-2006 - 7:02pm |
Hello everyone!
You guessed it... I have a 'budding' relationship question. I need some advice badly! Here is the story.
I am 23 years old. I recently went on vacation and met a boy who is a Mormon. The way we met was very unusual. It almost seems as if fate dictated it. (long story, I'll spare you the details). Suffice it to say, the minute I met him, I felt at ease. He is the first man in my life who has given me both butterflies, but yet has made me completely comfortable around him, wanting to interact with him some more. My friend who was traveling with me even agreed that he might in fact be my soul mate, just by the way we interacted together.
We met near the end of my trip. I had four days left. But we spent hours upon hours together each day. He was always a perfect gentleman. We were able to just talk for hours on end. We have a multitute of freakish little things in common. The first three 'dates' went splendidly. However, the last night, I felt a strange vibe. Even though that night he said something to the extent that maybe one day i'd be able to meet his good friends back home (which is usually a good sign), he wouldn't hold my hand or put his arm around me (which he had done on our second 'date'). I wasn't obvious about it, but I did subtly let our elbows touch, etc. When we said goodnight, there was a hug and a peck on the lips (which had happened the previous nights too). But he walked away pretty fast. The paranoid part of me is thinking... maybe he was relieved to get it over with? But as paranoid as I am usually in relationships, this one was different. Something tells me I shouldn't be paranoid. Something gives me hope that all is not lost yet.
We exchanged addresses. I emailed him soon after the end of my trip (his trip ended two days after mine). But he hasn't replied yet (it has been 4 full days). He did warn me he checks his email only about once a week and that it might take some time to reply. But I can't help but to think that if he feels the same way about me as I do about him, he would have checked and replied by now... Am I right in thinking this?
I already met his family, and we got along together very well. And not to generalize, but I've done some research on Mormonism as I find it to be a very interesting religion. From what I have found, it appears that hugging and kissing isn't just thrown around the way most non-Mormons do it (I am also a non-Mormon); that it usually means something. So if he kissed and hugged me (and by the way, I actually enjoyed the slow pace at which things happened), I think he must have actually cared about me. But then why the weirdness on the last night? And why haven't I heard from him yet?
I would really appreciate some suggestions, ideas from Mormons and non-Mormons on this board. I fell pretty hard for this guy, as he is unlike anyone I have ever met. There was something very special about him, something about him made me feel like I could be the best person I could be (sorry, I know, cheesy). And hear this even cheesier bit: all my life, I've always felt like I would end up alone, that I wasn't the type to be loved by a guy. It's not like I have low self-esteem or anything. I just never saw it happening. But this guy, we can call him James, changed this. The connection actually felt mutual. I don't mind the geographical distance that separates us either. He is definetely worth it.
I guess my two main questions are about the time it is taking him to reply (because in my mind, if he feels the same way about me as I do about him, he would have given me a sign of life by now), and also about the meaning of the little physical affection between us. Please keep in mind that he is a Mormon when answering. Which seemed to slightly decline by our last 'date'...
Thank you in advance!
Angie

There are always reasons why people do what they do. It's possible that his religion has a big influence in him and he's not ready to take the next step. Perhaps, he's not interested enough to reply to your message. Maybe he indeed hasn't gotten to check his e-mail. It's possible that the strong connection was felt only on your part. He may be looking for a Mormmon woman to date, are you one?. If Mormmons don't get physical in the way non-Mormons do then he's following his religion. The kiss and the peck could have been that he wanted to do it, but not necessarily that he cared about you. It could have been mere attraction and not "love".
I'd not wait by the computer or the phone to see if communicates. I'd go on with life and if he replies it'll be fine. It not then you won't have the regret of waiting for someone who you spent for 4 days with.