Did i ruined my chance with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Did i ruined my chance with him?
14
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:49pm
Back in February I meet this guy and I been having a crush on him ever sense. See he is friends with one of my closest friends and he got invited to my birthday party. That night he asked me for my number and flirted the whole night…but nothing ever came out of it… so since he is really close to my friend we actually got to see each other a couple of times more and once again there was chemistry between us….well this Friday I saw him again. We saw each other at a club and we danced together the whole night long none stop and well we got pretty hot and heavy in the dance floor and I never thought that I could get turned on by someone just dancing with me but well it happened this time….so needless to say we slept together that night… and it was incredible…..now the problem is that I am not used to doing that…the only people I have slept with are with people that actually mean something to me like boyfriends….and so in the morning I practically ran out of his house…he didn’t want me to leave but I just freaked out and did….basically I just told him that I was leaving and rushed out. The thing is that I am worried that by sleeping with him so soon I have ruined my chances with him…that he will think that I am too easy…which I was that night…..and well he hasn’t called…and I don’t know if he hasn’t called because it was just a one night stand for him or if it was because he got the impression from him me that I didn’t like him or something since I rushed out in the morning….i don’t know what to think….and I don’t know what to do….i don’t want to call him cause I don’t want him to think that I am desperate so I wasn’t thinking of an email. And just kind of explain my self….i need some advice…We will both be going to the same event in 2 weeks and I don’t it to be weird between us….cause I really like him….i know it stupid of me…..

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 12:53pm

I think it's more likely that your behavior the morning after was more of an issue than the fact that you slept with him. So I would shoot him an email letting him know you had a great time and that you're sorry you left so abruptly. I wouldn't try to explain yourself in an email...just leave it at that (if you do see him again, you can explain yourself in person). If he's interested, he'll pick up on the fact that you ARE interested in him after all and he'll follow up.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 1:04pm

Thank you Sheri,

thats what i was thinking of doing. My friends think that my chances with him are gonne....that i should wait for him to contact me if he is intereste...but i know that with the way i left in the morning he migh have gotten the wrong impression...and besides with my previous meetings with him he was alsways shy...so i dont know...i could tell that he liked me though... i guess i have no choice but to wait....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 2:57pm
good luck


Edited 7/26/2006 6:25 pm ET by bluemackerel
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 3:00pm
Well tell me about it and maybe we can figure what to do...i really like this guy, but i feel like i ruined my one chance....dont know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 3:28pm
YOU DID NOT RUIN YOUR CHANCES WITH HIM, but you will complicate things more than necessary if you don't try to contact him. Just put urself in his shoes, if he was the one to run out on you the next morning, and how you would feel. It is ok that this happened but I agree with sherri that it should be explained in person over coffee or a drink. It sounds like he is interested in you and that you have great chemistry (hell, you got a guy to dance an ENTIRE night!). Don't let your pride or guy-pursuing-the-girl get in the way of something that sounds very promising. P.S. remember to be kind to yourself; there are worse things you could have done. P.S.S. don't go texting and leave repeated phone calls (aka scene from Swingers). A simple Hi, I had a great time the other night and was wondering if you would like to get a drink later on in the week with me? Good luck!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 3:47pm

Edited 7/17/2006 3:52 pm ET by bluemackerel




Edited 7/26/2006 6:26 pm ET by bluemackerel
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 8:16pm

Ok, why do you think you have no choice but to wait? A quick email won't hurt...if he's interested he'll be happy to hear from you, and if he's not interested, well, then he's not interested!

Again, don't try to get into any explanation or anything like that...just a light, breezy email saying you had a great time.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Mon, 07-17-2006 - 9:16pm
So i am following your advice. I am writting him and email right now...wish me luck. I will let you guys know what happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 12:58am
I think the combination of sleeping with him too soon and acting so strange the next morning is what ultimately drove the wedge between you two. Not really one thing or the other. Lord only knows what he may be thinking right now, but he's probably more confused than anything else. The fact that he didn't want you to leave the next day does signify that it was probably more than a one-night-stand to him (unless he was just expecting one more round before you left). But this one is really a toughie. I would probably give him a call or write him an email, but keep it as light-hearted and casual as possible to avoid further awkwardness. Hopefully he's an easy-going guy and he'll just brush it off as no big deal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2005
Thu, 07-20-2006 - 12:56pm
Well i wrote him an email last monday just apologizing for acting strange and letting him know that i had fun dancing with him....but he never wrote or called back...so i guess that pretty much gives me my answer right? The thing is that most likely we will continue to see each other since we have a really close friend in common.....but i guess you can say that i have given up on that....or what else can i do?

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