Need E-mail HELP to Uncover the Truth...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Need E-mail HELP to Uncover the Truth...
4
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 11:43am

Hi: I am trying to find out what a man from my past, who has been e-mailing me casually, is thinking? I am not one to pressure or harass a guy but would really like to know if he still has feelings for me. The e-mails I have gotten have been very neutral and he's the type of guy that keeps his feelings very close to the vest.

QUESTION: Can anyone out there help me to come up with a e-mail that is worded in a way that doesn't seem pushy and yet gets an idea if he still cares about me? (I am much more comfortable writing to him rather than using the phone).

Thanks :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 4:17pm

I know it can be tough becasue it makes you vulnerbale, but I'd go the direct route.

"Hey,
I'm just curious, is this just a friend thing to you or is this a friend's right now, but kind of testing the waters to see if it might be more thing? I'm just curious and to make sure we're both clear about where this may or could never go, so no one's feelings get hurt."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 5:12pm
Wow, that is direct! I don't know if I have the guts to say all that?! I don't want him to run away because he's the type of guy that if you even suggest asking what he's thinking, he will run like the wind. I'm just not "strategic" enough to figure out a good way to word an e-mail without putting him on the defensive and feeling any pressure. Hmmm....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 6:34pm
Nothing seems to scare a guy away faster than asking him questions about the status of the relationship. You need a man's opinion. I think you should ask "Mr. Answer Man" or put the post on the "Guy Talk" board to solicit answers from guys. Good luck. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 7:15am

Just a point to ponder...

If you can't be direct, open, and honest witha guy without "scaring him off" is he really the right guy for you. Do you really want to ahve to play games and choose your words oh-so-carefully for fear of losing him if you do eventually date him?

In other words, if the guy is such an emotional midget that he can't handle a simple direct question is he really worth your time and energy?