Help!
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-21-2006 - 3:43am |
Hello Everybody-
I know I have been writing on here a lot, but so much confusion is happening that second opinions are greatly appreciated.
The guy I have been seeing Josh* told me last night that he can't have a relationship right now, due to him just getting out of one and wanting to be with himself. That is understandable, so I told him that it would be better if we were just friends and not do anything physical, which has just been kissing. He then started telling me all these good things about me, like how i am so different from every other girl and all my good qualities. Then he said he is falling in love with me. It took forever for him to leave me last night, he never wanted to say goodbye.
Today i saw him for a few minutes and nothing physical really happened, but i could tell he wanted to kiss me. Then later he called to say goodnight and that he was disappointed he didn't get to "smooch me". I had to remind him that we are just gonna be friends and that I don't want anything physical. His response to this was, "Friends kiss" and I said no they don't.
This is all just so annoying. I do like him a lot, but everytime I have fooled around with a guy who wasn't my boyfriend I ended up getting hurt. What should i do? I don't want a friends with benefits thing and he does. We practically are already in a relationship, from him calling me all the time and always wanting to hangout. I don't see what the difference would be. Can someone explain this to me. I can't just stop talking to him. He knows where I live and would definitly try to find me. Help!

You are absolutely right. Friends DON'T kiss.
Stick to your guns. And if you need to, ask him to stop calling you unless he's ready for a relationship. If he tries the sympathy card with you, throw it back at him - say "well, when you are ready for a relationship, you know where I am". Be brutal if you have to.
Honey, friends don't kiss in the mouth, cuddle, touch each other in their privates, sleep together in the same bed even if no sex is in the picture, call themselves pet names or "smooch". This guy wants to kiss you and maybe have sex with you without the committment to you or any responsability for that matter. Listen to your gut and past experiences. He wants a friends with benefits deal where he gets together with you at his own convenience, hangs out and talks for a while, kisses you and maybe more and then leaves to call you again the next day or else and repeat the same thing. You seem emotionally invested and like him, so this deal would be a breakheart for you if you ask for more and he says "I told you that I didn't want a relationship". If he gets all fuzzy and mellow and asks you for a "friends kiss" tell him to go kiss a chair.
It's OK to hang out, but as friends if he doesn't want a serious relationship. The guy is testing your limits sweetie. He knows that you like him and it's only a matter of time when he'd try to kiss you to see what you do. If you let him he'll know that he can kiss you without being your BF and he may try some more intimate stuff. If you want a serious relationship, this is not the guy. He's game and will take whatever you offer him.