Is 7 months too soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Is 7 months too soon?
3
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 4:45pm
I am a divorced woman with two young children. I have been dating this wonderful guy for about 7 months now. I think he is a perfect fit for both me and my children. He has never been married and has no children of his own, however he treats mine as though they are his. I am not looking to rush into something but I am concerned that my children are getting attached to a man who has not made a commitment to me or them. He often discusses a future with us..however at this point he has not commited. Is it unreasonable for me to be concerned about my children's feelings? Do I tell him of my concern? I do not want to pressure him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 8:09pm

It may not be what you want to hear, but I think you should talk to him. Don't do the whole 'marry me or get out' thing because it's obviously too soon. But your main concern should be your children. Just ask him if he's in it for real because you need to make sure your kids don't get hurt if he dumps you, I think he'll understand your concern...you are not asking him to buy you a ring, just to tell you if he sees it happening in the future.

Good luck!

Daphne

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 2:21am
It's a priority to keep a consistent environment for your children after your divorce. If this man is not staying around I'd recommend not to let him come to your home and get involved with your children. Children get attached to adults, and in this case this man acts like "the father figure". If he goes their hope to get a "new daddy" will go out the window. If you'd like to keep dating him go ahead and do it outside the home. However, if you see this man as your next BF to get married to by all means ask him about the status of your relationship. Seven months is the perfect time to know where you're headed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 1:33pm
please, tell him. your children are #1 and you must look out for their well being. if this man isnt going to commit to you and your children, then he needs to go somewhere. it wouldnt be fair to you and the kids for yall to get attatched and then he decide its not what he wants. why risk putting yourself and your children through that? good luck!