Why is he so nervous around me??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Why is he so nervous around me??
2
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 4:46am

Hello people-

I know I have been posting a lot about the same guy, but I haven't had a relationship in 4 years, so I'm a little confused.

Tonight I went with "Luke" to the movies, went well, but in the beginning he kept acting really nervous. Like shaking his leg and biting his nails. This isn't the first time this has happened. He seems to have a really nervous personality even though he is really outgoing. I try to talk to him, but he either doesn't say much or mumbles his words. He is though really affectionate and cuddly so I know he likes me. It just seems like he acts different to me then to his friends, which I guess is normal. But it makes me question whether we are really good for each other. Also he always does this thing where he will say, "I kinda miss you" or "you are kinda my girlfriend." Then I will be like, "kinda?", and he will say, "no you're my girlfriend."

Does this all mean he is unsure about me? I know he is really afraid of being hurt by me and I want to make him feel comfortable. I am not the type to sweet talk and I guess I am little nervous around him too. I try to talk about intellectual conversations and he just wont respond back. Or i will say something about myself and he wont try to talk about it. He doesn't have a problem talking about himself, but he gets quiet when I talk. Why is this??

Thank you for all your suggestions and advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 9:12am
He may be nervous and depending he could get the vibe that your not that into him. With that he thinks “oh, well to minimize the hurt I play it cool and aloof” So you talk he listens no big deal he may be the type that wants a specific question asked of him. Is he really into the stuff you talk about, I mean have you listened to what he says when he talks and geared the general conversation to those things. It is like he has told you things about him and then you told him about you. Maybe the things about you he has no interests in

Marie


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Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-11-2006 - 11:22am

bblue351351...

Pianoguy's first impression after reading your post was that "Luke" reminded him of his border collie! Wimpy has a tendency to twitch her legs before she falls asleep! It's nervousness and nothing more!

Anyway.......here are my thoughts about Luke:

1. He probably doesn't do well sitting in a stationery position for very long? In other words...he has to either stand up and walk around...or he's gonna twitch!

2. He's a little shy around you and doesn't completely know how to express his feelings? Don't you think his actions should speak louder than his words? If you're being loved and treated well...does it really bother you that he's NOT talkative?

3. It's entirely possible that Luke prefers to hear YOU talk instead of contributing to the conversation? .

Pianoguy