so hurt and confused!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2006
so hurt and confused!
3
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:08am

I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I love him so much and we've been through so much together, hes my bestfriend, my lover, everything i want/need in my life... But he's with another girl.. and its b/s bc they've been together b4 and ended up breaking up like 10 time and i was ALWAYS there to make him feel better and clean up the mess SHE left him with.. and now they are together again.. and im so worried that things arent going to be the same.. yet, people tell me it will have the same outcome.. I dont want to lose my bestfriend.. the only person i have in this world.. What should i do!?!? Im such a wreck.. the only thing on my mind is suicide, and i know thats too selfish and extremly wrong but i just dont see any other way out of it! There's no getting over him... im just so confused and worried its not even funny.. Somebody please help =[

But- I called him this morning, and told him that I was sorry for the fighting, and that i hope everything works out the best for him, he told me he appriated that.. Im surre he knew i didnt mean it, bc he could hear me crying.. And i didn't mean any thing i said, really. Of course i hope they break up...I dont know, i feel like im in a rut and know what im supposed to do but i cant because i don't know how..

..how could this happen to me?




Edited 8/17/2006 9:23 am ET by xheart_brokenn
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 6:51am

xheart_brokenn...

PG thinks that as long as you're willing to play the role of a "rebound romantic source" for the man you're in love with....THAT ROLE WILL STICK WITH YOU FOREVER!

Why you decided to become the 'sacrificial 3rd-party lamb' to him is anybody's guess? But if you are seriously contemplating suicide, do you mind if I bring up two conclusions?

Conclusion #1: The man whom you've been in love with will automatically find someone else (similar to the type of person you are) who is willing to "comfort and take him in" after his 11th breakup...without giving YOU (and your efforts) a moment's thought! How does this make you feel?

Conclusion #2: If you should decide to take your own life, you're basically letting a person who has no interest in you...DETERMINE YOUR FATE! No man (or woman) on this planet is worth 'taking your own life for!' Simply because the sacrifice YOU'VE MADE will only bring sadness to the people (friends and family members) who REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU! Your suicide will go unnoticed to the remainder of the world.

PLEASE WAKE UP and realize that you never really had "a best friend" in the romantic sense! You had a male drone who was willing to take advantage of you whenever the mood suited him. Otherwise...he would have left his g/f THE FIRST TIME...instead of coming back to her again and again!

Sorry...but 'best friends' (your term)don't behave this way!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:19pm
That was excellent advice, Pianoguy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Fri, 08-18-2006 - 9:44am

I agree with Pianoguy.

First off you need to stop letting this guy back into your life, he's NOT WORTH IT! If he wanted to be with you and loved you, he would have been with you already and not gone back to her. All you are is a backup to his GF. He was never your best friend in the first place. Think about it, would you call someone a "best friend" if he used you like that? Why waste your time on someone that doesn't want to be with you? Don't waste anymore of your life on someone like that!!!! Obviously no matter what he says to you, he doesn't know what he wants either, since he's going back and forth between you and her.

Thinking about killing yourself isn't going to solve any problems...it will just make it worse for everyone else! Yeah I know you feel like the world is coming to an end, but it's not. Don't even think about doing something to yourself like that just to draw attention or guilt. You have a long life to live and look forward too! When I was 18 I had a BF that broke up with me, and I was hurt for a long time and felt like you do now. But I realized a few years after the fact I was with a looser...and it was never gonna last anyways, and that I was always going to be better than him in the long run!

You need to ask yourself this, do you REALLY want to continue feeling the way you are feeling? Nothing is going to change, and he's made it clear that he wants to be with her...bottom line there's nothing you can do but to move on with your life. You should listen to your friends; that are telling you the outcome will only be the same...they ARE RIGHT! I would cut ALL communication with him, don't bother to answer any calls, e-mail, txt msgs, etc. And DONT CALL HIM! You are only making it worse for yourself. So when the next time he comes around and wants to talk or sleep with you...tell him you have move on and have a nice life!

Trust me, there are PLENTY of men out there that are waiting for someone like you! Take your time, work on healing yourself, and keep yourself busy to take your mind off of him. Eventually when you aren't looking, you will find love again. Good Luck!