What's his problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
What's his problem?
4
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:26am

I met this really amazing guy about a month ago, we recently just started dating, but he has asked some really (what i think are) rude questions and i'm not too sure how to deal with them. I don't know where they come from, but i take such offense to them. We haven't met in person yet, we are planning to do this in a month 1/2, i'm really excited but i can't nudge off these questions. For example, so you all know what i am talking about, i had sent him quite a few pictures, and yesterday night when we were talking on the phone he asked me if i had acne when i was younger, like 13, because i had some "flakey" stuff on my face! I was so hurt and i felt that was such a shallow, uncalled for question. Another time he asked me if i needed dental work because i wasn't smiling in any of my pictures, so i got really offended and took some smiling to show him that no, i don't need dental work. I don't know what the problem is, i mean, am i overreacting? or is he just rude? I told him that the questions made me feel like i wasn't good enough and he just continues to point out flaws it seems like, but he said that's not it at all. I just have never had someone be so blunt with me before. He does say nice things like "you're really pretty" or "you have beautiful eyes" but i can't seem to shake those things off.

Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2006
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 1:04pm

Is he foreign? The reason I ask that is because my best friend is dating my boyfriend's best friend who happens to be Russian and has lived here for about 12 years. Anyway, his family and he have some very odd customs that have offended my friend. First, they told her that she needs braces and that they would do them for free (his mom is a dentist/orthodontist). The other thing is that they told her they don't like her bras (which I thought was completely odd) and they told him to buy her a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret and go with her to get specific bras that hold her boobs up better (she is a petite gal who has large breasts). Now, to me that is odd, but to them it is normal. They also call each other fat all of the time and they are really worried about gaining weight. But they think of it in a loving way. If anyone in my family called me fat to my face, I'd sock them in the jaw, but that is just me.

If that isn't the case, then I think you might just have a plain old ass or weirdo on your hands. If it bothers you, I'd simply ask him why he cares or why he is asking. Honestly, I don't think I'd date a guy with really messed up teeth though either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 2:59pm
He seems to be inconsiderate, thoughtless, and absolutely clueless about women. Don't date him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 9:44am
Yup, this guy is a jerk. Why does that matter anyways? You get along great, so why start asking all these questions. Doubts this early on may signify he isn't the person for you :). There are guys out there who won't care if you had acne when you were 13...didn't most of us? He seems superficial. Maybe he is just straighforward, but you would know that better than us. If he is, you will have to deal with this all the time, and if this is the only time he has been like this, it should make you wonder what is his dealio?
Good luck.
:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 1:41pm
oh my goodness! how rude... a guy dosent ask ladies questions like that. i would be afraid to meet him in person, he might see a litle stubble on your legs or something and ask why didnt u shave... who knows... sounds kinda creepy to me! be careful!