stupid jealousy? legit? insecure...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
stupid jealousy? legit? insecure...
1
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 9:34am
My boyfriend does things that make me inseucure, and its at the point now I just don't trust anything he says or does. He has lied throughout the entire relationship, and even before we were serious. Even if he IS telling me the truth, at this point, I just question everything. Yesterday he had an appt. for the doctor. I didn't know when he left that he was actually going to stop by HOOTERS for lunch for a bit and get drunk. Alone. He got home tipsy, and I didn't question anything. I found the receipt for hooters in his pants (doing laundry before work) and started thinking....is this cool? No, it's not cool for my BF to go to hooters alone when he has a gf. If he was with buddies it would be different, but why would he just go there by himself unless he was looking for something? My mom agrees, but am I just being stupid and insecure? I don't feel it's right for my bf to go to hooters and get drunk. Thats a place for single guys looking for fun, but I know my bf, and I am not happy with this. Either I am going to get put in my place, or someone will agree. Either way, I am not happy, so it doesn't matter if I am wrong...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 2:23pm

Well, in and off itself I don't think the Hooters thing is neccessarily a big deal. But you know it's not an isolated thing, apparently his given you other reasons to feel he isn't trustworthy.

So, I would say yes your feeling insecure and I do understand why; but, I also think you need to not base your self-esteem on him. Don't give him the power to "make (you) insecure". And, yes, you can take that power from him or any person. You do so by basing your self-esteem on just that yourself.Your self-esteem is based on your opinion of yourself not someone else's. Remember that always.

Having said that, I know this is easier said then done; but, if you don't think your guy is trustworthy, dump him.

Start trusting yourself and your own judgement. Even if you're wrong, you'll learn something and your judgement will be that much better in the future. It would be more of a mistake to stay with him becasue you didn't trust yourself then to dump him and be wrong because you did.

Though judging by your post your instincts about him aren't wrong.