need some help and advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
need some help and advice!
4
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 1:44pm
was with mm for some "quickies", (oral sex on his part)! and he didn't want to go inside of me, he was afraid he was gonna go quick.. Do you think he doesn't want to have sex anymore? well i think it's getting to the point where he only likes me to give him oral sex and it's frusterating to me! We still do talk about having sex with e/o, but I just don't know.. any advice or opionions
Gina
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 2:03am
Dear Chris,

Some men (many men) prefer oral sex to any other form.I

view this as quite selfish, and you even say it is very

frustrating for you. You will not be satisfied with this

relationship for very long if the only orgasm going down

is his.

You say he is afraid he will "go quick". That is a common

problem with men, which incidentally a condom will help.

Why else would he not want to enter you? Fear of pregnancy,

fear of getting or giving an STD, fear of getting caught,

fear of commitment, a whole lot of fears can get in the way.

All these come to mind. But fear of premature ejaculation?

I don't see that one. He doesn't seem to me to be overly

concerned with your orgasm.

So tell him this is not getting the job done for you. Don't

take a passive role here, you have needs too. Get him to

explain himself more fully, help you get over the top, or

move on.

I do think he wants sex, just oral sex, and I think it is

selfish. Just my opinion, based on what you have written.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 7:51am
I wouldnt be with a man who didnt be sure I got my cookies too! Call me liberated but sex isnt just for men anymore! I do believe much of what reply #2 suggested is true, there are many reasons that may be playing a role in this but the bottom line is that your satisfaction is just as important as his...there's absolutely no way I'd be going home after seeing my OM just to double click my mouse, that's what he's for! lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 1:37pm
chris, he's being pretty selfish if you "talk" about sex and he's the only one receiving it! ask him straight out what's going on. i guess you are frustrated! make him talk to you and resolve the problem, or move on. he's not doing anything for you honey.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 5:05pm
I agree w/Desert. You need to talk to him, and now.

What are you in the EMA for? It may not only be sex, but sex is a significant part of it and if it's not working for you, then it ain't working. Period.

Explain to him that you two need to work together to solve a problem, and his help is critical in the solution... and good luck!

-lily