Confused about new EMA
Find a Conversation
Confused about new EMA
| Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:19pm |
deleted
Edited 12/20/2003 1:42:02 PM ET by charlotte1203
Edited 12/20/2003 1:42:02 PM ET by charlotte1203
| Sun, 07-27-2003 - 7:19pm |
Pages
My EMA in many ways sounds similar to your own... except that I had only know MM but a few months before we took it further. I must admit I had doubts with my feelings when I first entered my EMA, but once I sort everything out... I thought I could handle a physical only affair. For me though it now been over 3 years... and I think over time and the things that MM and I have been through together have just drawn us closer... and I know for me that I have very deep feelings for MM and am falling in love with him.
However... that doesn't make me want more from him... he has his marriage that he is not walking away from and I have mine that at this stage will not walk away from either.
We email every day and talk on the phone at least once a week... we talk about almost everything and have always been open and honest and up front with our situations. I probably only get to see MM once a month maybe twice if I'm lucky. All the little things have opened me up and allowed me to love him.
So... from my point of view... yes! I think you can fall in love with somebody this way.
As for how you deal with it... I don't think I can really offer anything on that one... it's really all a matter of what perspective you put on everything in your life... and MM is just but one part... a very special part and for now I intend to keep that for as long as I can.
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
You ask if it is possible to fall in love with someone you
see only twice a month. Since you are attracted to him, I must
say it is highly likely.
Your mind will fill in the "gaps" in your relationship. It will
not fill in the annoying details of everyday life, like how he
leaves his clothes laying around, how he never puts the toilet
seat down, how he never helps with the dishes. Trust me, it will
only fill in the madly passionate sex, the glances, the touches...
So yes, it is even more likely that you will fall madly in love
with someone you have limited access to.
You say your M is "not that bad", and you don't want to leave
your H. OK, what is missing that you need this other man for?
There are lots of reasons here, don't think I am putting you
on the spot. You should answer these questions for yourself,
be honest!
Are you setting yourself up for a big fall? Perhaps, what do you
expect from this relationship? Answer that and the rest should
be easy.
Your multiple edits suggest you are worried about posting here.
Relax, we only want what you want, your happiness.
I just wanted to let you know your not alone. Our situations are very similar. I'm also M w/. 2 small chilren and my marriage is really pretty good other than lacking passion and affection from H. I have been friends w/ OM and there has been an intense mutual attraction going on for months, however he did make the first move. We rarely talk about our future or emotions, I know were both scared. I don't want to scare him off either. The one time I brought it up that maybe we can see each other more other than just being intimate he said something that he feels guilty enough and that he doesn't want to get caught if we were seen together. I know he's holding back. BTW he is single.
When you said:"I don't want to leave my husband, but I am starting to feel like if I loose this man, if he suddenly is no longer a part of my life, there is going to be a huge hole there." I have this exact thought.
I also feel that I'm falling for OM even though we don't see each other to much, and I know I'm setting myself up for a fall because I'm fairly certain I could never leave my H.
Your not alone.
I think it's completely possible to fall in love with someone even if you don't seem him that often. After all, you have known him for some time, and have worked with him.
Still, it's possible that your feelings aren't truly those of love, but more a combination of having a spring in your step, something new and fresh in your life - that sort of thing.
I find myself raising similar questions (in my own head) lately . . . am I falling for my MM , even if I deeply love my DH and plan on remaining married and someday having children with my DH? It kind of hit me hard over the weekend, when I had a BAD DAY (family stuff), and despite my DH's consoling and sweet demeanor about the whole thing, what I really wanted was to be in MM's arms :o(
Give yourself some time ... the answer will eventually reveal itself (patience is both the reward and punishment of EMA's, in my humble opinion!)
{{Hugs to you}}
ARH
Pages