Choice taken out of my hands
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Choice taken out of my hands
| Tue, 07-29-2003 - 7:22am |
Well I know longer have to make the choice about spending the day with him on Sunday, he came to see me for all of 30 seconds, looking harried and very distressed. His W, even though they are separated, his harrassing him, stalking him. She verbally attacked that OW, the one he slept with, and even went to her house. He told me that his W said, that if he doesn't move back home she is going to follow him everywhere and if she even sees him talking to anyone else, she is going to harass that person. So he is backing away from me. Which is fine, he has to do whatever he needs to do. I am more worried about him. And I really think that he needs to be firm with her, and maybe even press charges against her. But I don't think he will, because he will worry about how it will effect his kids. He did tell me he was trying to get her help. And if she happens to see me talking to him? Well, just let her start with me, I don't take sh**. And I am not the one she has to worry about anyway.
So I am kinda glad that now I don't have to make this decision, I know we will not be spending any time together in the near future. So it is time to take a deep breath and really plunge in and work on my M. He has to work on his problems, and he also has to develope some back bone, I mean I love him to pieces but come on, he's letting these 2 women walk all over him and manipulate him. (While I stand on the sidelines, just being here in case he needs me.) There is no reason why he has to accept meals or gifts from OW, (since he keeps saying he is not ready for an R, then why encourage her?),there is no reason why he has to accept being stalked by his W. So I will remain his friend, and squash the desire I have, and refuse to get caught up with him. I will not contact him, I can't anyway, his W destroyed his cell phone. So that makes it easier, and eventually I know, if I remain distant, these feelings I have for him will fade.
So I am kinda glad that now I don't have to make this decision, I know we will not be spending any time together in the near future. So it is time to take a deep breath and really plunge in and work on my M. He has to work on his problems, and he also has to develope some back bone, I mean I love him to pieces but come on, he's letting these 2 women walk all over him and manipulate him. (While I stand on the sidelines, just being here in case he needs me.) There is no reason why he has to accept meals or gifts from OW, (since he keeps saying he is not ready for an R, then why encourage her?),there is no reason why he has to accept being stalked by his W. So I will remain his friend, and squash the desire I have, and refuse to get caught up with him. I will not contact him, I can't anyway, his W destroyed his cell phone. So that makes it easier, and eventually I know, if I remain distant, these feelings I have for him will fade.
Hmmm, I wonder if he will cave and move back in with W?
itty

and about running back to wifey well there's a lot of history and kids... so it wouldn't surprise me but i think he's a fool if he does... letting her gain control over him would be a mistake...
opus
I think staying clear while he sorts it all
out is very wise. I'm glad you are safe.
I doubt it will work out with W, the way she is
acting. It is not behavior that would endear
her to me! She obviously is feeling very
threatened.
Good luck!
Edited 7/29/2003 3:05:59 PM ET by i_another_lurker
Her behavior sounds like a psycho bully and he would do well to be rid of her. But it doesn't look like he knows how. Until he figures that out, he will not be able to give you what you need anyway. Sounds like you have better chances w/H, who may not always be prince charming but sounds like he has a stronger spine.
Good luck and keep us posted!
-lily
Thank you my friends,
Hugs,
Itty
Great insights. Good for you!
(hugs)
Guess I am finally learning the lessons I should have learned long ago.
(((((Hugs))))
itty