Love at first sight?
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Love at first sight?
| Tue, 07-29-2003 - 8:27am |
Does anyone believe in "love at first sight"?
Has anyone ever met someone that they just couldn't stop looking at because they felt like there was something there? You don't even know this person but you can't stop looking at them. Then say you do get to talking to them. And before you know it you find yourself just so connected,. Maybe you have no idea if they feel the same, but can all that electricity be from you? You feel serious pain when they aren't around you. You look for them, you even go so far as to do stupid things that scare you because they are so not you, or out of the ordinary. Please any thoughts are appreciated...

but i'm sure that there are others who have different ways of viewing love and lust...
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I have a question. When he comes back to work, would it be stupid for me to ask him if he is attracted to me? I feel like I need to know, one to find out if I am wasting my time, and two so that I can move forward a little more confident. I just wish he would come back to work. I feel so sick at work without him there.
Forgive me if I preach at too basic a level here.
You sound very young and very gone on this man. You
got it bad, and that ain't good. We have to get you
to find out more about this man. You really don't
seem to know much beyond chemistry about him at all.
Let me ask first, Is this man married? If not, aren't
you getting a bit ahead of yourself, posting on an
board for people in affairs? Have you considered
an old fashioned romance?
How old is he? How old are you? Is romance a good fit
here? Chemistry aside, would he be a good match for you?
How much do you know about him? What car does he drive?
What is the license #? What department or company does
he work in? What is his position? What is his cell phone
#, his business #? Could you call him? When? Where does
he live?
Since you have his home phone from the movie gambit, (nice
move) it is relatively safe to assume there is no live in
girlfriend. I have always found that people I am attracted
to invariably have other connections. You may have to time
this right and take him away. That is a different story.
How long has he been in the area? Does he have a girlfriend?
How long? What is her name? This is not necessairly bad, at
least you know he isn't gay! Be subtle here, this is tender
territory. You may just want to ask around the general topic
area and see if he openly divulges anything.
Have a talk with him, look deeply into his eyes. You will see
if he has any interest for you. If you come up empty, perhaps
you can start some.
If necessary, fake a car repair and ask Mr. Gallant to take you
to lunch so you won't starve. Lunch is about the right length
of time, is pretty non-committal, and you will talk. See what
his interests are. What is his favorite: Vacation, city, music,
group, movie, meal, drink, etc. You get the picture. Where did
he grow up? What is his most vivid memory from childhood. What
was his most embarrasing moment? (Don't go for erotic moment
yet, you'll get there). What are his hobbies? How does he like
to spend his time off? What is it that makes him special? Write
it down if you must, but remember it all. What is his birthday?
Sign? (Yeah, I know it is cheesy, but it can be fun).
See if you like him as a person. Is he kind? Does he open doors
for you? Is his language proper? Does he swear? Is he considerate
of the people he interacts with? Is his hygene good? How are his
nails? His shoes? His clothes? Is he a gentleman? Is there
anything that would make you re-consider being alone with him?
Is he introverted or extroverted? Analytical or emotional?
Do any red flags come up? If he smokes or drinks, do you care?
How is his driving? What is his attitude toward life?
You are actually doing an interview here, and he will be too. The
trick it to keep it light, a friendly conversation as two people
get to know each other. It helps to do this with a sense of humor.
Don't be too eager. You must be worth his time, don't throw youself
on him. If you are too easy, he will not think you worth the effort,
or worse, will take advantage of you and dump you. If you are too
un-attainable, he will not think he can win you. Both men and women
enjoy the chase. For some, that is all there is.
Pick up a few books on flirting, learn how to get and hold the man's
attention. Do a web search on "Flirt". Learn to time the romance.
If you need to force the rapport, investigate NLP on the web. It is a
technique for establishing a more rapid level of connection with people
you meet through the use of mirroring body gestures and postures. It
may work for you, it probably won't hurt, unless you do it poorly.
Finally, you are way too gone on this man. For the maximum probability
of success, pull yourself together. Quit looking to him for all your
personal validation. You hardly know him and are sick when he is gone
3 days from work. If you truly want to win him, be a complete person
first. They are so much more interesting.
You ask if you should just come out and ask if he likes you. It certainly
is the direct approach, but I don't think you want that just now. He
may not even know. Dance around a little bit as you find out the
answers to the above. He may find that, yes, he does like you, maybe a
lot. Let him show that to you in his own good time. Men always enjoy the
chase, especially if you let him win.
You are in charge, have fun.