Tomorrow's the big day

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Tomorrow's the big day
9
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 9:44am
After about 3 months of flirting, and 6 weeks of actually fooling around, MM and I are planning to rendezvous tomorrow night and *do the deed* for the FIRST TIME! I'm so psyched and nervous and smiley and I can hardly sit still!! (Plus, we both have cleared being out late with our spouses, so don't have to worry too much about the lateness issue.)

When we did the instant message thing last night, he was telling me how he's nervous about his upcoming performance -- it was adorable! It was the first time he has even let a moment's worth of less than full confidence creep into our conversation, so it somehow made me brave and bold -- does that make sense?! I'm not sure why he's so worried, as this past weekend we fooled around so hot and heavy -- it's clear we have the chemistry. In fact, I'm still kind of wondering if what we did that night technically qualifies as sex -- one of those sorta in, sorta not moments (sorry, but I can't stop thinking about it!)

Anyway, I just had this pressing need to share my crazy anticipation with all of you . . . and thought my excitement might cause some of you to remember and share with our Board, THAT MOMENT, just before IT HAPPENED for the first time!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 9:52am
hi emmy -- and thanks for sharing your "anticipation!" have a great time and enjoy the time you have with MM! i hope it's the first of many.

i didn't have that kind of anticipation, just a short flirtation and then when he called, i made the spontaneous decision to just go meet him and do the deed. and it's been three years since and much more involved and emotional than we ever thought possible.

be ready for the rollercoaster, girl!

enjoy,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 11:43am
Thanks Gurl!

I know all abot the roller coaster, having had a very serious EMA in the past - so I am trying to keep my wits about me this time.

I've also had the purely-physical-we-both-know-this-is-going-nowhere types of flings, too.

As this EMA started out, I thought it was the latter -- just a few smooches, he'd start to annoy me and/or there wouldn't be chemistry, and that would be it. Instead, he's incredibly passionate and likes to talk about things between us.

Thus far in my life, I've learned that the guys who LEAST look like they'd be great in bed, are the ones who almost always are the GREATEST!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 12:30pm
hey emmy. i've had many convoluted relationships in my time, girl! and you are so right, just when you least expect it, the man turns out to be the one you can't do without! just be careful of your self-esteem. sometimes you can't help but feel like you want more than just sex out the R. some women think you have to be "in love" with a man to want to sleep with him, but there are many of us that know you can separate the need for sex from love and go for what makes you feel good. of course, the longer the R goes on, the more you come to know that other person and start investing more than just sexual needs.

since you've been on the rollercoaster before, you know it will be all those highs and lows. just be ready for it!!

take care,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 12:41pm
Hi emmy,

Yes, your post did make me think about the beginning. We waited awhile before we actuallly slept together, so I usually think of that first kiss not the first O.

We had seen each other as friends, started going out together more often, and then one night OM made me dinner at his house...*Innocent* little me didn't see it coming...too much wine, too many glances, too many brushes on my arm...And then of course the kissing. oh, so sweet!! But that was it the first time. Definitely made me come back for more though...

Thx for your reply to me from an earlier post--as far as that topic is concerned, I'm going to sit back and not worry about it (I have made a promise to myself of sorts). As lily said, the 'wrong' answer would get me nowhere and most likely only upset me.

Since you two have a planned day, you might try to think of something spontaneous that you could do to break cycle of expectations...nothing is coming to me right now but if I think of something I'll post back...

Good luck, sweetie, and enjoy!

A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 1:08pm
I've been reading for a while, and decided today maybe I should post, and maybe this is the best place, remembering that "first". Only, I have two...one met online, who will always have my heart. We'd said neither wanted to end our marriages, but after meeting, well, we'd like to, but with children at home, and being over 500 miles apart, well, it's just not been easy. September will be 4 years since we first started talking online. He traveled for work and came to a town 45 mins from me. We'd emailed, chatted, and talked on the phone for about 6 weeks. We declared "nothing" had to happen, we just wanted to meet. I drove to his hotel, adrenaline flowing, singing along with the radio, grinning all the way. Got there, called up to his room, got on the elevator, and as the door opened, I remember thinking ok, here goes...1...2...3....I stepped out and he was nearly hopping down the hallway toward me, trying to see over the head of cleaning lady and her cart. Says "well, here I am, run now if you want." I said no, offered the same, and he put his hand in the small of my back and we walked back to his room together. We chatted, looked at pics of his kids, chatted some more....he asked to kiss me, said he wanted that more than anything....and it was all over from there. However, he no longer travels,it's been a year since I've actually seen him...and he will always own my heart. I hadn't intended to fall in love with him, nor him me. But we did. Our spouses knew about us, and so now we keep in touch mostly thru voice mails we leave each other in his work account (I have the password to get in and check, and it's an 800 number.).

But, I'm supposing since he is so far away (and no longer travels) and I am still lacking personal attention at home, I've become involved with a coworker. He works in another department, in another building, so I rarely see him. I've known him for three years. This one I thought I saw coming a year and a half ago. He'd drop in now and then to chat for a few minutes, and occasionally called. Then he offered to show me how to play racquetball....and we had long talks after. He seemed interested, but held back, so I decided as long as I was married, he would keep his distance, and he was a great friend, so I left it be. About 10 months later, during one of his calls, he said he was going to a house he'd just bought, the W was out of town, I could come by on lunch and watch him paint if I wanted. He'd show me the house. So I went, he didn't paint a thing, we talked for over an hour, him fishing, me trying to answer 'positively'...til he finally reached out and got me by the arm saying he'd had enough...so I guess I had anticipation of sorts here, lol, but just didn't know if I'd ever have anything beyond that. With him, I am much like someone posted here...if I lost him, there would be a hole in my life. He calls nearly every day, emails occasionally, and I see him in a part time job he has sometimes out of the office. But I do not now, nor will I ever want something more from him. We don't talk about home much at all. I don't ask at all about his homelife, and he only occasionally will ask a question...like after a recent beach weekend, he asked if "he and your son" went with my daughters and me. It's understood he does all the calling of me at work, I won't call him at home nor him me at home, I don't have a cell, and I don't call his. He does have a pager, and I'll leave a brief "hello" kind of message now and then.

Thanks for the chance to remember!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 10:26pm
I kinda have a funny story to share about MM and my first time, he'd kill me if he knew I was telling anyone..... I told him in an email that I was ready, just cuz I couldn't over the phone, silly huh... so we went to a hotel, which was akward. And... um how do I say this, his thing only worked for a little while... It wasn't like the worst sex I've had, I've had bad sex (before I was married) and I never went back... but it was good while it lasted, if u know what i mean. There were like 2 other times this happened but since then it hasn't happened, which is good... He says it was just because i'm so beautiful and he was so nervous... LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 11:21pm
Lexylew --

Oh No!!!! I'm glad you can laugh about it now! Sounds like it wasn't so funny at the time, though ;o)

My DH and I had A LOT of, uh, "technical difficulties" when we first got together -- back when we were teens and first started dating. DH was a virgin (I was not), and while the first time we had sex it went just fine . . . the next DOZEN times he'd be so excited that Mr. Happy would have a party before he'd even gotten into the party room, LOL!

We've been together for many years now, but it still crops up as a problem for time to time, if we haven't been having sex regularly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 12:06am
LOL.... I've heard of that happening, but never knew anyone it happened to... at this point with DH we have sex so little (thank god) that I'm glad that he "performs" so quickly!!!

thanks for sharing

=)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 12:12am
Hi emmy,

Thanks for taking me back... I've been seeing MM for over 3 years now and I guess like any relationship the first time seems to get left behind and I honestly can not remember much except at how great I felt afterwards.

The first time we planned it... things didn't go exactly to plan... and actually we didn't plan it at all... oh dear... am I making any sense??? we used to chat online... he at work and me at home... and one day we were chatting... DH was home in bed sick and it turned out MM had taken the day off. He suddenly asked me to come over to his place and funny thing was DH said previously if I had wanted to go out he would take care of DS. What perfect circumstances! I remember getting there and being so nervous... we talked, had coffee... you know... then he went to do something and I was standing in the ounge room just watching the tv, although not really watching... when he come up behind me... turned me around and just kissed me... it all seemed so natural. Where it didn't go exactly to plan... was that MM was obviously a little too excited... that's ok... I can deal with that and believe me... it's never happened again ;)

So... the next time we planned to meet at my place... but like I said... I don't remember a lot of the situation... just saying to him that I wasn't sure I could go through with it... I did... and three years later... I still don't want to give him up.

Enjoy the first time... but remember if all doesn't go exactly to plan... don't be too disappointed... there will be others.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
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