Little Quiz:) & Note

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Little Quiz:) & Note
11
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 11:00am
Thought I'd ask these Q's just to see where others are at in their EMA's. Have a great day everyone! *And wanted to add that Red (rednbludragonfly1) says hello and to have a great weekend! She's off for some R&R with her sibling:) She'll catch up Sunday night!*

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1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other?

2.What are things you wouldn't change?

3.What are things you would change?

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other?

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A?

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1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other? I feel great:) My OM does all that my H does not. I get the satisfaction of both worlds making me seriously, into a happier person.

2.What are things you wouldn't change? The great sex and communication;)

3.What are things you would change? I would change the fact that our meetings are always spontaneous. I love the spontaneous aspect, *but* I'd like to have a certain day where we see each other no matter what. But it isn't so! Some weeks we hook up 5 times a week, other weeks it's once.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other? My expectations are to have honesty, love, care, and sex. And I have those, so I'm happy;)

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A? The one thing, as I wrote above about things I would change, I know we'll have once a weeknight for sure thing. Other than that, I know we'll still be together.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 11:06am
I'll answer!

1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other? My A is going wonderful. Although it is hard like on the weekends to concentrate on H and not MM, I still have a smile on my face almost ALL the time now!

2.What are things you wouldn't change? I wouldn't chance the way he listens to me. he is so attentive. We talk every afternoon for about half an hour - just me and him. I LOVE that!

3.What are things you would change? Time. I wish I could have more it.. I mean good alone time.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other? I expect him to be honest with me. We both made that very clear from the beginning and so far I think we have both stuck to it.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A? On my - what a quetion. I have no clue. We have our own little time line - since we both have young kids. So, in a year? We will probably be in the same place - but definately more emotional!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 11:29am


We haven't actually jumped into yet, we are definitely having an emotional ema, so I guess my answers will be a little different.

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1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other?

I feel that it is helping both of our M's, and it is also helping each of us personally to be able to find ourselves again. It has made our jobs a lot less stressful and both of us much happier people.

2.What are things you wouldn't change?

The way we can tell each anything, the strong attraction, the connection that we share.

3.What are things you would change?

We both would love to intimate but know that we can't so I guess that would fit here.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other?

That we continue to be friends and continue to have the strength to avoid ic. This is hard, so far we've respected this rule, only hugs, wiping my tears away, kiss on the forehead, and holding my hand.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A?

Hopefully exactly where we are now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 1:24pm
hey, fire, here are my answers:

1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other?

today is his b-day and we were together this morning to *celebrate*. i really am in love with him but haven't said it out loud. did sign his card "Love" but we haven't said it!

2.What are things you wouldn't change?

the communication, the sex, the caring, etc.......

3.What are things you would change?

more time together. now it's once a week or longer.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other?

i have no expectations. i'm just enjoying the developing relationship. he's opening up more and more and wants to tell me everything, past, present and future. i never expected that.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A?

it's been 3 years and 2 weeks, so i see myself in the same place -- enjoying our time together.

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 2:25pm
1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other?

I love him. He cares for me deeply, but he doesn't love me. And that's okay. He is attentive, considerate, kind, generous, and loving towards me. What more could I want?

2.What are things you wouldn't change?

I'd keep all of the above plus the fact that we work together, I like that. Oh, and of course, the sex. Man is it good!!! LOL!!! Did I really say that!!!

3.What are things you would change?

I wish that I had acted on my feelings last year, when he was trying to approach me, because I wasted a year. But then, I still thought I could save my marriage then, so maybe OM and I wouldn't have worked because I would have been conflicted. Now, I know the reality of my marriage and it frees me to be who I am with OM.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other?

I expect it to be fun and tantalizing and honest and loving. It is all that and more. What I expect from OM? I expect him to be happy. If he's not, this isn't working. I expect him to continue to care for me. He and I have both said that we're in this for as long as possible.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A?

Hopefully still with him, but with it no longer being an affair on my end. I'm hoping to be divorced by then. He has a g/f and he has to make that decision for himself as to what he's going to do, but I will continue to be the OW if that's what I need to do.

Avatar for secrets86
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 2:35pm
I've missed the surveys and musings everyone used

to post - thanks for bringing them back, IPassion!

1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other?

Right now I feel a bit down as OM moved the other day to

the other end of the country, so it's been a rough time for

all involved. Especially as he put in effort to see me quite

a bit - by ourselves & introducing me to other friends & family

in his life that I hadn't yet met - and then the last couple of

days here became very distant in an attempt to create a bit of

distance b/w us to make things easier w/ his move. (Which hasn't

wkd for me and I've no doubt won't wk for him)

Despite all of the issues right now, how I feel about our A is

that it's taught me a lot about ppl, R and myself. I have no

regrets and wouldn't trade in my time w/ him for anything. I'm

confident that once he gets to his new place and is settled in,

he will be around. I know that neither one of us wants the other

out of our life. His move does chg things for him, gf and myself

and I know he has a lot to think about and decide, as I do too.

I'm happy w/ us (just not how he handled things the last couple

of days) and I'm confident things will be back on track soon enough.

2.What are things you wouldn't change?

I wouldn't chg anything we've said or done together. I really

think we get along great, I love the honesty we have w/ e/o,

etc so there's not much I'd change.

3.What are things you would change?

I'd like to say I'd change the timing of when we met so that

we could've began as traditionally dating instead of it

becoming an A but I know that if we hadn't been through all

we had prior to meeting, we wouldn't have had a R like we do.

Nor grown into such a wonderful friendship for a few yrs before

the A ever came into the equation. I think I'd change the fact

that he was w/ his gf still (sort of...) ;o) Actually, I'd change

his confusion and fears. He's got a lot of thoughts & feelings he

doesn't know what to do w/ right now.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other?

My expectations are to always be friends and treat e/o w/ all

the qualities found in friendship (honesty, trust, ability to

have a blast together, can talk about anything, support, respect,

etc.) since I think that's what's kept us so strong.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A?

I have no idea where things will even be in 1 MONTH due to this

move lol nevermind 1yr. I could see things going anyway... him

and gf breaking up, him being single, possibly still w/ gf, he and

I in the same sit. as we've been in, me w/ someone else, etc.

I've no idea what the future holds. That's what makes it interesting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 9:39pm
Good questions passion... a bit of soul searching....

1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other? I feel great about my relationship with MM. It's wonderful knowing that I have someone there for me... even if it isn't always.

2.What are things you wouldn't change? him! he is just such a wonderful, caring, honest and open person. He makes me laugh when I need it... but will also listen to me cry when I need that to.

3.What are things you would change? Time... I would love to have just a little more time with him. Just a night a month would even do it.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other? I don't really have any... just that he be here for me in the way he is now.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A? Where I am right now... neither of us is looking at walking away from our marriages and we have never talked about ending what we have... in fact we often talk of the not so far future... like what we would like to do together when summer comes. I'm content with all that we have now and would like to think it won't change to much.

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 2:08am
Good questions, Passion! And, thanks for the note from Red.

1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other?

In as much as an EMA/FWB can be a healthy relationship, this has been a good relationship for me. I know any down times I experience are due to my own thought process/emotions, and it's helped me in my thought process with H and D. In having a relationship with MM, while I don't compare, it's caused me to realise that I've been in/allowed abusive relationships with H and in the past - and I've thrown out lots of excess baggage. All right, so an FWB is *not* an ideal relationship, but the man himself is all that for me, right now.

2.What are things you wouldn't change?

As an FWB, I wouldn't change a thing. I appreciate the trust, respect and openness (is that a word, lol?). I really, really enjoy the physical, yeah baby! Most important is the friendship.

3.What are things you would change?

Again, as an EMA/FWB, I wouldn't change a thing. As a relationship, it would be better if it wasn't secret...but I'm not looking to change that right now.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other?

For all the times I comment on knowing one's expectations, I have none, lol. That's because I trust MM will continue to respect me, accept me for who I am, and be honest with me (hehee and I trust the physical will continue to be great). I trust *I* will no longer want to continue the relationship if any of that changes.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A?

Both MM & I have things to get through right now, so I don't know where we'll be next week let alone next year! *Right now* it would be nice to think we still have a wonderful FWB next year...but, I have no road map for this particular journey and I'm just enjoying the experience as we travel this road together.

Meow

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 9:39am
1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other?

I am feeling mixed emotions right now. Had we communicated better this would be an A - it would have been a normal relationship. But, even so, I care very very much about him.

2.What are things you wouldn't change?

The way he can make me feel.

3.What are things you would change?

The distance ( he is 5 hours away ) and improving our communication.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other?

Hmmm I think my expectations are undergoing some "remodeling"... I'll let you know when I figure it out.

As far as expectations from the OM > I expect him to be honest, open, and loving.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A?

Truthfully, in one year, I see myself still struggling with this issue. It really depends on where he is in his life. If a single, immediately available woman comes his way - I wonder if he will still be here, in my life.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 9:53am
LOVE these questions -- helps us get to know other Board members better!

1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other? - Still so new . . . I guess I feel excited and intrigued by the relationship, especially because I would have NEVER imagined that he and I would get together.

2.What are things you wouldn't change? - Wouldn't change the fabulous physical chemistry we have together. I also enjoy that he cares so much about my personal life, and always reminds me that we were close friends before, and how important it is to him that we maintain it.

3.What are things you would change? - Sometimes he is moody and shuts down emotionally, a pattern that MM and his W regularly exhibit toward each other. I force MM to be straight with me, and give him a good dose of encouragement and positive reinforcement so that he will eventually come to realize that he doesn't have to be on the defensive when we're together.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other? - Great sex! To feel extra-sexy because I know there's someone out there who craves me (hope that doesn't sound too conceited, LOL!). I'd like this EMA to be a long-term relationship, but I think he will eventually leave his W (no kids, thank God) and hit the singles scene big time, which will make our relationship far less attractive due to time restraints and other committments.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A? - Hmmmm, not sure! Hopefully, still together, and having figured out a secure place that we can "get busy". What a dream it would be to have a secret apartment somewhere, or to have enough $$$ to be able to afford going to hotels whenever we wanted to!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 10:29am


1.How are you honestly feeling about your A with your other? Honestly, I think I made the right decision. We hadn't seen or talked to each other in 5 years, so when he asked if I wanted to see him again, I couldn't say no. I have no regrets, and feel nothing but happiness when we have our times together.

2.What are things you wouldn't change? I wouldn't change a thing about him. I love him for who he already is. I wouldn't change our history together either. Over the years we have had so many ups and downs, and I think I have become a stronger person for dealing with it all.

3.What are things you would change? I would definitely change the fact that we live so far apart (8 hours). I hate being so happy and not having very many friends or family to share it with. I would change having to keep everything so hush, hush.

4.What are your expectations for your A and from your other? I expect MM and I to be completely honest with each other. I expect to be treated like his queen when we are together (which he does a magnificent job of..if I may add). I expect my H never to change. I have been trying to get him to see many of his flaws (not helping around the house, never taking things seriously, not being romantic, etc.) for the longest time, but he just aint gettin it.

5.Where do you see yourself in 1 year with your A? I hope nothing in my A has changed. I love the way he makes me feel when we are together or just talking on the phone.

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