Is God gonna forgive me?
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| Thu, 07-31-2003 - 1:53pm |
From the beginning,i've always been tortured about the "moral" issues of this affair.Will God ever forgive me,will he punish me somehow,will he make my children suffer because of what i'm doing...etc..etc..It's really eating me alive.And even if i DO divorce H and remarry OM,will he still forgive me someday then??
And another question i wanted to ask is HOW do you get out of your marriage to be with this person?Yes,i know you should NEVER leave for anyone but yourself,but i am leaving to be with this man.I will be completely honest about that.I love him more than i've ever loved another person in my life and i want to be his wife.But i also know if he werent in the picture i'd go nowhere because of my kids and finances.And please,i know that sounds so terrible but no flames i beg you.And yes,i was unhappy before i ever met him.If i were in love with my H and truely and deeply happy,i would not have started this EMA.Now,after being with him,i finally understand the meaning of a true love.I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with H and never feeling again the way i do when i'm with OM.It hurts to even imagine that.But my question once again,how do you leave?After leaving H the first time,he did a completel "turnabout"...he is now everything any woman would want in a man,and in all honesty,i don't know if anyone else will ever love me like he does.I just wonder if i'm scared to hurt him or scared of the unknown...someone please help??

i can appreciate that your H has "turned around" but if you don't love him, nothing can make up for that.
i left my H after 16 years (he was my "first" everything!) with 3 children in tow. i had two jobs, lots of help from my sisters and parents to watch the kids, and very little in the way of material things, but i did it on my own (with support and help). my children are grown up and healthy and happy and educated. i started my A with one of my best friends because of the attention and sex and that's continued to increase over 3 years and counting. i wouldn't give up my MM or my BF unless i'm forced to.
but please be happy and "forgive" yourself. god loves you and all his children!
best wishes and lots of hugs too,
gurl
Nobody in my situation is M so I can't
really give you any advice on that. But I
can relate to the ?s you have regarding God
and your religion. That's something I've also
battled with. Especially months into this R
when I became much more involved w/ my religion.
Obviously, I don't have the answers. I don't
know what will happen. But I have wondered like
you have too. I've thought, how can I find so
much happiness and love in something that is so
obviously against most morals and my religion
frowns upon, as well. I've wondered if this was
a sort of test by Him to see if I'd do the "right"
thing. (B/c I am a firm believer that everything
happens for a reason and that there is a plan for
us that He has created for us and it's the choices
WE make in our life that determine how we travel
on our path.) I think there are diff. tests we get
every day... i.e./ story of a man who passes by a
poor person everyday on his way to work but never
helps him or gives him a 2nd glance. To throw a lil
more into my confusion, someone who has wanted to
date me for about a yr is a very religious person..
lol It's like having 2 completely diff ends of the
spectrum if you think about it in a "moral/right"
sense. But I also know that God wants us to love.
And when I pray at night, every night, I thank Him
for blessing me w/ the opportunity to experience so
much love w/ OM for so long. I also ask Him for help
and guidance so I know which is the right way to go.
And I maintain faith that whatever is meant to be will
be.
I'm not God... I don't know what He thinks so obviously
I can't answer that for you lol. I don't know if I really
helped you any... but maybe by hearing that you're not
alone and hearing some of my thoughts on it, that will help
you in some way. At least I hope so!