MM's - W called me

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
MM's - W called me
28
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 9:33am
OMG - this morning my MM W called me...left me a message saying she would like to talk to me. She said I know im not priority on your list but please call...its in piece...I would like to meet you or just talk to you. H knows im calling she said.

See last night I went to the casinos and I had several hangup calls and I called my MM and she never answers his phone this time she did and I asked for him and she said he was not in...im like thx. Anyhow at 1am she called and my sis answered the phone and she asked for me and said she and H would like to talk to me nothing bad. My sis said well she is gambling upstairs...and she said oh another thing my H lied to me about. According to MM she asked if I liked casinos and he said NO. OH WELL!!

Anyhow I did not call back obviously but did call my MM this morning and he said that everything was fine...that she just wants to meet me and he said well you have been given her crank calls y dont you ask her. She was like what do you mean..and he said I looked through ur phone u r harassing my friends and they think ur loony. She was like oh well you and her talk way too much...apparently she saw the cell bill...he was like im not going to lie we talk about 90% of the day...I enjoy talking to her. According to her she thinks we are friends..and she said well y dont u invite her to dinner he said she is my friend not yours.

Anyhow she has left me several messages this morning and would like me to call her back. Im so confused. MM said it was no big deal that she wants to get to know me...how come he likes me so much and she does not have any friends...he said im not going to put you in that position he was like tell her NO you dont want to meet her...I said I cant be rude like that...he said fine I will do it for you. I said I feel bad for her...he said I dont. I said well im not going to meet her but I guess I can talk to her on the phone. I mean what could she possibly have to say...IM NERVOUS.

-Sandy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 9:40am
Sandy,

I'm a bit confused -- is MM's wife on to your relationship? Does she know? Is she fishing? Does she think you're just close friends and she's jealous?

She sounds a bit loony to me, too. I don't think I'd jump at t he chance to meet her. With an obsessive personality like that, things could get weird or out-of-hand. Just my opinion though! Only you know for sure!

I do socialize with my MM's wife. Actually, DH and I have had dinner at their house and gone out together with them, and had dinner with the W on my own, sortof "just us girls" lunches. In my case, I think it makes it easier for MM and I to hang out together on our own, and chat on the phone, without making either of our spouses suspicious.

Emmy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 10:09am
Did you know your MM's W prior to you having an A?? So she has no clue at all what so ever??

Yes she is onto us...she has asked him about me before and he has told her I am a friend. She actually thinks I am married...which I am not...she had called me once before several months ago and asked why I call MM baby on the messages .. I just said I call everyone babe and stuff like that thats just me and my exhusband and fiance did not like that either. And if she needed to know anything else to talk to H. Anyways just the last few weeks she has been harrassing my phone calling with unknown #'s and hanging up. She has sniffed MM when has gotten home and has asked him what do I have she does not...and if I made more money then she did (NO) and if I bought him stuff (NO)...MM was like no she is just herself.

Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 10:48am
Hi Sandy, geez..what is her problem? It's so weird to me that she wants to talk to you and get to know you and stuff. I think for the most part it's intuition for a woman to be able to feel if her man is getting it on with another woman...obviously, she feels this way right? But why then would you want to 'talk' and 'be friends' with that woman? I mean I'm having an affair with a MM and I've also been on the 'other side of the fence' so to speak and would never want to be friends with someone I think wants my husband, ya know what I mean? She's like totally crazy, I can't even explain it. Either your MM really has her turning flips and she doesn't know what to believe, or maybe it's that she does want to believe him. She must be a really,,,,really weak woman, dang. Are you going to call her crazy ass or not? If you do, I guess you should call her babe too....LOL. What the hell? Let me know...

ARH

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 10:50am
sandy -- i agree with emmy, it's just a little too looney for me. she's fishing and wants to know your relationship with her H. step back from any contact with her. let it die down and it will if neither you nor MM bring it up. just ignore her calls.

be careful,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 10:56am
Hey prettyribbons...

I have no idea what to do...I guess really im waiting for her to call me back. This early morning I had like 5-6 missed calls from her and two voice messages. She was like H said it was ok to call you...I just want to say hey...I know im not a priority on your list to return calls...IM THINKING YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!! Im surprised she has not called me at work.

Actually what was funny ... I was getting really irritated with MM because I kept getting these private calls and hang ups. He was like I dont think its all her...Im like dont u defend her...what a coinsidence she calls you and then a minute or two I get a private call. Anyhow he snooped through her phone the other night and saw my number under her aunts name and he changed my numbers around...hehehe...we thought it was funny!! We would love to see the look on her face yesterday when she tried calling just to hang up. So yesterday he confronted the issue cuz she got a hold of his phone and he told her do not answer my phone much less call my friends and hang up on them...she was like im not. He was like please I saw your phone *67 she was like I dont even know how to do that...COME ON...how stupid can she play.

I mean what can she possibly ask me...I figured the only thing I can say if she gets personal ask your H. I mean I feel bad she has no friends and she seems very very nice and very very naive...but still....

So did you catch your H? You said you have been on both sides....just asking...hope u dont mind.

-Sandy



Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 11:13am
Can't you call your service provider and have your number changed? I could see where if you 'don't' talk to her, she'll for sure be suspicious, but then again...I can't see reason one where you would benefit any by communicating with her. Like you said, she needs to talk to her husband (he must be really pulling the wool over her eyes) I mean I guess you are glad, I just find it hard to believe anyone is that stupid, ya know? Are you married too, if not...then you really don't have that much to worry about other than her going berserk in some crazy fashion, which could happen?! Actually, yes I walked in on my husband, it's a long story. We've been together for 16.5 years and it happened when we had been married 'about a year and half' We were about 20 years old? We stayed together, I never forgot it until I had an affair with a MM about a year and half later. (Same one I'm with now by the way) He found out about my affair and went berserk...changed his life completely<< I know some people say you never change but believe me we both did. I did divorce him, got back with him a few months later, ended my affair and everything has been wonderful ever since. Why am I in an affair (with the same guy now) your guess is as good as mine...lol. I never stopped loving the MM, never stopped thinking of him, got in touch just a few months ago through email. Everything is easier now than back in 1991 since we have email, cell phones, etc. I guess I know I'm missing something in my life, I know now...that if I had found him with that girl "later" in my life, I would never have stayed. I stayed because I was a scared 20 year old with a year old baby. I do love my husband, just not like I should...obviously. <<< Tell me if you've ever heard such a confusing situation as that...lol

ARH

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 11:41am
NO ITS NOT CONFUSING AT ALL...ITS JUST THINGS HAPPEN IN THERE OWN TIME. WOW SO YOU HAVE BEEN WITH HIM A LONG TIME....YOUR MM...AND H TOO!! BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT NOT FEELING COMPLETE. ALONG TIME AGO 11YRS AGO..I MET A COWORKER WHO WAS GETTING A D...WELL HIS W TURNED OUT PREGNANT...I ASKED HIM TO GO BACK TO HER FOR THE KID..THIS IS ME BEING NAIVE WAY BACK WHEN...HE WAS LIKE I DONT LOVE HER BUT HE DID..I QUIT WORKING THEIR BUT ALWAYS WAS IN TOUCH WITH HIM NOT MUCH BUT WE JUST FELT GREAT TOGETHER...ANYHOW I GOT M AND I FOUND OUT BY HIS MOM THAT HE WAS LEAVING HIS W FOR GOOD..WELL TOO LATE FOR ME I WAS ALREADY M...A FEW MONTHS AND THEN I NEVER REALLY LOVED MY H..IT WAS TO FORGET ABOUT MM...BUT THEN I GOT PREGNANT AND I DECIDED TO LEAVE MY H...AND CONTACTED MY MM...WELL COME TO FIND OUT HE WAS ENGAGED...NEXT THING I KNEW HE GOT MARRIED...SO HERE I WAS DIVORCED AND PREGNANT...ANYHOW IT ALL WENT GOOD MM LEFT HIS W FOR ME...BUT I WAS NOT READY FOR HIM AND HE WENT BACK TO HER...I HOOKED UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE..HE LEFT HER...NOW TALKING ABOUT CONFUSING...THATS CONFUSING...ANYHOW WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE LOVED EACH OTHER AND WE ALWAYS WERE ON AND OFF FOR 10YRS...TILL LAST MARCH I GOT PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD AND HE DENIED IT...I HAD A CAR WRECK AFTER I TOLD HIM AND I LOST IT...WHAT WAS WIERD IT WAS THE SAME WEEKEND I GAVE IN TO HIM THE FIRST TIME AND TEN YEARS LATER IT ENDED ON THE SAME WEEKEND....NOW THATS WIERD AND CONFUSING...

BUT NOW I HAVE MY NEW MM THAT IM JUST SO IN LOVE WITH...AND I AM SINGLE WITH ONE KID AT THE TIME!! BUT YES I KNOW HOW YOU FELT BECUASE I WAS 20 WITH A NEWBORN...MY SON IS NOW FIXING TO BE 8 IN A FEW YEARS IM 28!!



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 11:57am
Wow, I can't believe she is calling you. And the hang ups? Talk about nerve! I'm sure deep down she suspects her H is cheating. I'm not sure what else to tell you...except Good Luck! :)
Avatar for prettyribbons4u
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 12:01pm
Gosh that sounds alot like us!! When we had our first affair in 1991, he was my boss and his wife got pregnant too. I was the same as you, just couldn't do that, it was their first child, I didn't want to take the experience of that away from him, etc. My husband and I got back together, they had their baby...a couple of years later, we too had another baby. Then about three years later in 1997 he left his wife, and moved about an hour away, changed jobs, everything. I was "happily" back with my husband though and never really even considered being with him. He got involved with another woman, which lasted about a year but eventually went back to his wife in 1999, whereas, they had yet another baby and so did I in 2000. We say all the time that our timing SUCKS!! Anyways we're committed this time to see this thing through one way or the other. It's like our paths have never crossed at the 'right' time!! Geez, when I first met him I was only 16 and he was 23..so I even sneaked around then just to get to see him...lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 12:08pm
OMG how funny...I was 16 turning 17 and he was 23 at the time also...Yes timing was never good...for us. But I am glad you still keep in contact with your MM...I had the bad part on this relationship...it hurt. Im so happy with my MM - it just aggrevates me he is M..im like oh no not again...y him and not a single guy...y???

Im surprised his W has not tried calling me again!!

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