Obsessed....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Obsessed....
10
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 11:46am
I've known my MM for over 7 years but we just recently admitted our true feelings. Now I'm totally obsessed. If he doesn't call me EVERY day I get upset like a school girl. How do you control this? I can't even stand it when my husband touches me now. Thank god he NEVER wants to have SEX!!!! MM thinks I'm still debating if I can actually do this EMA so he really has no idea how I obsess about him. Right now I'm sitting at work with my cell phone next to me waiting for "THE CALL"!!!! My heart melts when I hear his voice. My marraige was bad before but now it REALLY bad. I'm a good actress though.

Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 11:52am
WELL IM NOT MUCH TO GIVE ADVISE...BUT I FEEL YOU...I HAVE BEEN THERE IN THAT SAME SITUATION BEFORE...WHERE U GET OBSESSED...AND JUST WAIT FOR A PHONE CALL OR SOMETHING FROM HIM.

ITS NOT THAT EASY TO OVERCOME...I BELIEVE ITS EASIER SAID THEN DONE...I HAVE ACTUALLY GOTTEN GOOD AT IT NOW...I JUST DONT LET HIM BE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE...I OCCUPY MY MIND ON OTHER THINGS AS HARD AS IT MIGHT BE AT TIMES..IN THE BACK OF MY MIND IM WONDERING IS HE GOING TO CALL....

BUT WE HAVE TO REMEMBER WE COME FIRST...AND KIDS IF YOU HAVE ANY...I DO I HAVE ONE. I REALIZED MEN COME AND GO...BUT YOU FAMILY COMES FIRST AND JUST HAVE TO BE VERY VERY STRONG AND ALWAYS KEEP YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND NO MATTER HOW NICE THINGS ARE AT TIMES.

ESPECIALLY WITH MM.

WELL I WISH YOU THE BEST AND HOPE YOU CAN KEEP YOUR MIND ON OTHER THINGS AS HARD AS IT MIGHT SEEM AND BE. AS FAR AS YOUR H - I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU CAN GET IRRITATED BUT YET AGAIN ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE YOUR THINKING ABOUT UR MM..AND YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER DONT TAKE IT OUT ON OTHER PEOPLE...ITS NOT THEIR FAULT. I LEARNED TO REALIZE THAT.

WELL I KNOW IM PROLLY NOT OF MUCH HELP...BUT I FELT LIKE SHARING THAT WITH YOU...

BEST WISHES - SANDY

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 11:58am
Secret,

I can relate. My OM is always so busy. And I'm always so bored. Just hearing his laugh and his voice makes me act like I'm 4 or something. And I read and re-read his emails, over and over and over again (I save them too.) I'm not obsessed, I know that..but it's like a drug. It's addictive if nothing else. I understand. Hang in there girlie, it'll be okay..promise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 12:02pm
Thanks Sandy. Just everyone being here helps! I try to make things better with my husband but it's so hard. I'm just not physically attracted to him either. Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 12:21pm
Of course you're not attracted to your H anymore - you are involved with someone else, and for most women, it is hard to be sleeping with two men.

As for your obsessiveness, understand that it is an addiction, and you are craving your next fix. This is the way all addicts behave - they obsess until they get their fix, and then they obsess about their next fix. They are only truly at peace DURING the fix. I don't know what to tell you - I have no idea how you can take the edge off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 12:39pm
I Totally agree that it is an addiction...What has worked the most for me? Time...Time makes it easier, it gets better, you get more comfortable with each other and understand the situation more and more...I used to use all of those feelings and bottled up energy, and try to make it positive...Excercise to some of your favorite music, clean and organize to your favorite music, that is, if you don't feel you're being productive...I didn't like when I obsessed so much that I didn't pay proper attention to my home and family...it could be almost crippling at times, not sure where you're at...but Stay Positive, and try to turn all of this into Positive Energy!! Good luck, it could be Quite a ride!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 3:18pm
I feel your pain. I'm addicted too. We haven't had any real ic yet and I'm so afraid of how much more addicted I would be if we did. You definitely need to keep yourself busy. I have a H and three kids so I do my best to be at home mentally and emotionally when I'm at home. But I do find myself taking a nap once a day, I'm usually just laying there dreaming of him, but it helps, I think. I'm going to get back to the gym because ever since this started I haven't worked out - bad girl, I know. So I'm jumping right back into it. That should make my nights a little better. Also I find myself wanting my H more and more. We have an awesome sex life already this is just making it better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 3:31pm
HALEY,

I'm really curious about something you wrote . . . that you and your H already have an awesome sex life! Could you try to explain, therefore, why you find yourself caught up with this other guy?

And PLEASE, do not take this as any sort of critical post -- I am truly interested in what you have to say! I have a great H, and love him dearly. Sex life is good, though not that intense fire thing like when you first start out. But with so many blessings in my life, I find myself wondering WHY, then, I find myself in EMA's?

I was hoping that something you write may trigger an "Ah Ha!" in my own mind, and provide me with some insight.

Hope you read this!

Thanks,

Emmy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 6:47pm
Hi SP,

I totally agree with princess on this one... time will make it easier... I tended to call mine the infatuation stage... at the time I wasn't even in love with MM... but the attention he gave me made me feel unbelievble and I wanted more and more of it and it I didn't get it... I got angry and annoyed.

When I realised what I was doing... I channelled my energy back into my own life... where is should have been all along... I had a husband, young child and a house to look after and I was neglecting them all. I think it really is a mind set thing not to be so obessed over something in your life.

I still feel that MM is like a drug and the urge to obtain that drug can be very strong at times... but I've learned to curve the cravings and do other things until I can get my fix ;)

Sorry... can't really offer you more.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 6:49pm
Sandy hon... don't mean to be a pain... but can you remember to take the caps lock off... capitals is yelling online and it's hard on the eyes.

Thanks

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Thu, 08-07-2003 - 7:24pm
You still have my hotmail right? Email me there, and we'll chat. :)