Has OM been in your home when H is gone

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Has OM been in your home when H is gone
7
Sun, 08-10-2003 - 11:40am
Who has had their OM in their home, late at night, children sleeping in the house?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 08-10-2003 - 12:05pm
Nope...not me!!! OM and I decided right off the bat that to do that was disrespectful of H. It's bad enough that I am having an A. If he were to find out I did it here, in our bed, in our house, that would be just too much. Look, I know that having the A in the first place is against the promises I made H, but I *have* tried to conduct myself in such a way that if the A ever became known, there would not be any added insult to injury.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Sun, 08-10-2003 - 1:02pm
I have had my MM here when H has not been here, but never when my kids were here. My two kids are quite young, so he probably wouldn't come here if they were here unless it was at night after they had gone to bed. Yes, he has come here during the day:o} However, I have gone to his house when his w wasn't there, but his kids were. I always said I would never do that,but.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 08-10-2003 - 1:15pm
I haven't, and would like to think that I wouldn't, BUT....drastic times call for drastic measures! lol If that were the only way for us to be together, I'm not sure how I would handle it...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Sun, 08-10-2003 - 2:38pm
Just my two cents here...I never had my OM over to the house until H and I split. And H had moved out...H and I are back together...been for a while and he knows he was here...H came over one night and saw his vehicle here. It torn him up to know what happened...so I would say no....like someone else said...even though you are having an A there are somethings that should not be done! ESPECIALLY when the kids are at home! Voice of experience! Red
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 1:36pm
My OM and I have talked about this because my H works 3rd shift. We decided that NEVER would we do that especially with the kids home. You never know what neighbors are watching (I have one w/new baby and one w/insominia) and you never know when the kids will get up. It is also disrespectful of H and the risks far exceed any benefit we would receive from doing it. My OM is single and has an Apt so I feel much better going there.

DAF

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 3:47pm
MM has been in my home 2 times.. I've been in his home a lot of times... behind his house is a school so I walk across the field and he opens the gate for me, while his W is at work and his kids are sleeping. Or while the rest of the family is out of town, or at a movie. He's way FUN when we're in his bed... theres just soemthing way different about him when we're in his house. =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 6:50pm
Hi princess,

MM meets at my place all the time... it is actually the safest place to do so... only during the day though, I would never ask him over when DH goes out... it would be too risky. MM has been coming here for so long now that it's so natural... I leave the door unlocked these days and he just walks on in... gives me a kiss and asks me how I am. Sometimes feels strange in that it feels so natural and he's so much at home.

I do have younge children and when I met MM, DS was only 14 months old so he didn't know anything. MM would come over after I had put him down for his afternoon nap and maybe he would still be here when I got him up. Once DS got the about 2 and a half and could talk and know what was happening... I started putting him in daycare for a couple of afternoons a week... this also helped with my new study... but MM would arrange to come over those afternoons.

Now... with DD who is now 1 year old... we do the same thing... although he has been here a couple of whole days... but she is still too young to know. Once she hits around 2... I will again do the same as I did with DS... she will be in daycare and DS with be at school... and MM and I will have 'our' time again.

Children are just too risky and I would never take the chance with a 3 year old or older around someone that I should not be seeing... you just never know what they are going to say.

As for DH... somehow... with one of my demanding faults ;) I managed to train him to call me when he leaves work to let me know he's on his way home. He still does to this very day and I have to say that it's come in handy. Neighbours... well... I very rarely talk to any around here and MM and I mostly only chat at the car when I see him off... just a friend. Although one day he was here and it was very hot and he went to venture out for a smoke with nothing on and I just had to mention that maybe the neighbours could see our their kitchen window... that stopped him *lol*

Both of us are very careful... and he will even change where he parks his car so it's not always out the front of my house.

Sweet

Sweet
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