another woman coming on to my om,help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
another woman coming on to my om,help!!!
7
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 12:14am
ok,this is kinda long but i feel like i need to explain so youll understand my situation better.my om of about a yr lives with 5 other guys in a big house.theres also another house full of single men accross the street.my om is hispanic as well as the others who live around and with him.ok one of the men had a womaN LIVING WITH HIM and dumped her because she was having sex with all the other guys.so she moved into a tiny basement rm herself and kinda sleeps with everyone.so when i start seeing om this woman was living in her rm alone already.she was extremley rude and nasty to me from the beginning.she only speaks spanish so she never actually talked to me,just gave me nasty looks.well i would visit om and go right in the house{he told me it was ok since they have no actual living rm,the rms are all made into bdrms except the kitchen and bath}so i would walk into oms bdrm and see this .itch sitting in a chair by his bed watching tv while om was asleep.he shares this rm with another guy also.at first i asked him if something happened with him and this woman,which could be why she hated me so much.but he swears he never touched her.i do believe him.my guy is very nice to others and doesnt have a hurtful bone in his body.after awhile he told me how this witch had come in his rm several times without clothes wanting sex.when he told her no she would ask if he was gay{because i was the only woman hes been with since hes been in the states and because he wouldnt touch her}om had a long talk with her about 2 wks ago and told her to please stop coming on to him because he didnt like her like that.and then he went on to tell her maybe she should look for a nice man and change her life.she told him she was in love with him and will not leave him alone!i know its true because i had been talking to him on the phone and he had set it down when she came in the rm.my husband is hispanic so i understand spanish.but the thing is she continues to bother him and he told me when hes cooking she will grab his butt or come up behind him and kiss him on the neck ect..this makes me very angry.we are planning on living together in a few months so should i let it go or talk to this woman myself? i just feel uncomfortable doing this because its not my house.any ideas on if i should talk to her or anythoing i can tell om to tell her that might work?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 8:01am
Hey there, I don't think you should confront her.

Since your OM is telling her to back off, leave

it to him. He'll take care of the situation.

Here's an idea... Since she's asking him if he's

gay, perhaps he can just tell her he is. Maybe

that will work..

Good luck! ~passion

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 11:11am
hi lorilynn2003 hugs sweetie that hispanic lady sound like to me she cheap.what really nice man would like her or respect her. my cousin in law is mexican american she upper class of hispanics,that women you told us about sound lower class of hispanic .also agree let om take care of her ok.l have hispanic guy friend l white irish lady he lower class of hispanic to l always treated him well. but his cousin got her self pregant but not h or boyfriend.husg kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 5:04pm
How can you talk to this woman about coming onto your OM if you are married to someone else?

And talking to her will do you no good. If some woman talked to YOU and told you to stay away from her guy, would YOU listen? It is up to your OM. If you two have an exclusive relationship (except for your husband), then it is up to him to fend off the other ladies who go after him. If it is within his values to sleep with slutty women just because they come onto him, then sweetie, I am sorry to say, he will. But if it is not within his values to do so, then he will refrain from doing so. If you are NOT in an exclusive relationship with the OM, then this really is none of your business anyway...unfortunately.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 11:03pm
we are together exclusively.and the reason i have a right to be angry even though im married is because my husband and i havnt slept together in 3 yrs.he has someone else also,we just dont openly talk about it.my husband is moving out in november{so he says}but if not im leaving right after xmas.the reason im asking for advise is because hes asking me what he can do to get her to leave him alone?i think the reason shes after him so much is because hes about the only one she hasnt been with sex wise.and the reason i want to put her in her place so bad is because she says sule vile things about me.for instance last friday i was cooking om some dinner and his friend says "cook for me too please"he was joking.and the witch was coming out of the bathroom and tells the friend"white bitches cant cook,the only thing they can do is lay on their backs!"she didnt know i understood her.i wanted so badly to kick her butt but im an adult.so insted i cook a huge meal of homemade tortillas,salsa,beans and steak/onions.about 9 guys ate and loved it.a few even said my cooking was better than hers and im white.she stomped out of there very angry..but thats the stuff i deal with on top of her coming onto my man..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 12:03am
He doesn't know how to get rid of a woman who is giving him unwanted attention?????? OH PUHLEEZE. If that aint the words of the cat who's enjoying toying with the canary, then I don't know what is.

Tell him that you're sure he can figure out how to get her to leave him alone, and that even if he can't, well, he doesn't have to sleep with her in any event.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 12:11am
oh lorilynn... I must say I do have to agree with Yoga on this one. All he has to do is ignore her... just because she is giving him attention doesn't mean he needs to sleep with her.

As for yourself... sure she's a b#@$& but don't prove yourself to be the same... rise about her and prove yourself better and just simply ignore her. There's nothing more than an attention seeker will hate more than being ignored.

good luck hon...

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 5:44pm
i never said anything about him sleeping with her at all..but as far as ignoring her its kinda hard to do when she grabs at him when hes cooking or passing by to go to the bathroom.he is just truely a nice person and doesnt want any problems or hard feelings.but as i said i heard him on the phone and plenty of other times when i just pop in unannounced,he in no way encourages her,he actually is enberresessed about it.he tries to hook her up with the guy down the street.