Ive gotten into a big mess!!!HELP!!!!

Avatar for megan1012
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Ive gotten into a big mess!!!HELP!!!!
3
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 8:18am
Well I foundt out last week im PG and not by H!!! I told H I was pg and he said how because we only had sex once this month and you had ur period after that. PLus Im only 2-3 weeks pregant by the blood test so he knows its not his. I told om that I was and he said ok we will deal with this together. He has left his W already if any of yall are falling my dilema. He wants both of us to file our seperation papers and get a place together so we can be together but then he brought up the adultrey matter becuase I will have this baby in May and will not be divorced yet. I just dont know what to do. I need a car in order to leave and OM told me I could have his car until I find something and he would just drive his dads car so I dont know if i should just do that. H has really tired hard to work on our relationship since he foundt out I was leaving but my feelings for him just arent there no more and havent been for a long time. I cant belive I got myself in this mess. I was on the pill to top things off also. ANy advice would be great cuz right now Im so confused I just dont know what to do. My options to regards with the baby is only 1. And that is to keep it. I cant have abortion and wont and I wont give it up for adoption cuz I cant carry a baby for 9 months and then give it up. Aghh what do I do and how do I handle this situation..Thanks so much
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 8:40am
It sounds to me like your hardest 2 tasks have already been accomplished 1) Deciding to continue with the pregnancy 2) Telling your DH and OM...From here you need to do what's best for your and your baby. It appears that now would be an excellent time to make any changes you are desiring in your life. It sounds as though you have not one, but two, very supportive men you are dealing with...should everyone be so lucky in such a tangled mess. The only advise I can give you is to follow your heart and do what's best for you and your baby, whether that be staying with DH, leaving to be with your OM or standing on your own 2 feet for a while with the help of one or both of these men.

I think you are living the harsh reality of what many of us could eventually face, a pregnance. Atleast you dont have any question as to who fathers your baby. All in all, I think you have the hard parts figured out and you just have to sort out a few details over the next 9 months. I would suggest you accept OMs offer on the car, that's the least he can do for you...*hugs* you are doing much better with this than you think!

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 3:57pm
((((((((hugs)))))))))

I know you must be feeling really overwhelmed, but I think the hardest part - telling your H and OM are out of the way. It sounds like you are sure of having this baby and will love it with all your heart, and really that's all that matters. MM and I had this discussion today, we haven't done the deed yet, we've been in an emotional ema and promised eachother it wouldn't go beyond that, but we both know it's going to happen. He wanted to know what I would do if I got pregnant. I already have 3 very young kids, and I love my H soo much, but I could never have an abortion personally(but I'm not against for others), and I could never carry a baby for that long knowing it's a part of me and then give it up. So I told him, that since we can't/won't leave our spouses that I would have the baby and H and I would raise it, and the only person other then myself who would know that it wasn't H's is MM. He was a little shocked, like you wouldn't want child support, or me to take him/her on the weekends? Hell no, I told him I wouldn't allow him to tell anyone, I don't want to be the straw that broke their crumbling marriage. Nor would I want him to be the straw that broke mine. And I wouldn't want the child to think any less of itself because of what we had done. He didn't like what I said because he really does think that I will leave my M which I might but if I do it will be for myself, not for anyone else.

Hang in there, try not to get too stressed. We're here for you. Take care of yourself, get lots of rest, drink your fluids and take care of that little one in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 11:28am
BUMP